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See also as related:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mondegreen
A mondegreen (/ˈmɒndɪˌɡriːn/ ⓘ) is a mishearing or misinterpretation of a phrase in a way that gives it a new meaning.[1] Mondegreens are most often created by a person listening to a poem or a song; the listener, being unable to hear a lyric clearly, substitutes words that sound similar and make some kind of sense.[2][3] The American writer Sylvia Wright coined the term in 1954, recalling a childhood memory of her mother reading the Scottish ballad "The Bonnie Earl o' Moray", and mishearing the words "laid him on the green" as "Lady Mondegreen".
and
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Malapropism
A malapropism (/ˈmæləprɒpɪzəm/; also called a malaprop, acyrologia, or Dogberryism) is the incorrect use of a word in place of a word with a similar sound, either unintentionally or for comedic effect, resulting in a nonsensical, often humorous utterance. An example is the statement attributed to baseball player Yogi Berra, regarding switch hitters, "He hits from both sides of the plate. He's amphibious",[1] with the accidental use of amphibious rather than the intended ambidextrous. Malapropisms often occur as errors in natural speech and are sometimes the subject of media attention, especially when made by politicians or other prominent individuals.
Good pull. Malapropism has always been one of my favorite words and comedic devices, so this is good info. Bravo!
Now if you'll excuse me, I'm gonna go read an article about the Women's Lubrication movement and eat my hot astronomy on rye.
We'll drive off that bridge when we get to it
I can't believe you got such a simple saying wrong. It's not rocket surgery.
I like "we'll burn that bridge when we come to it"
My buddy and I have a whole list of these…I started calling them masonism’s because he messes them up so often lol
“I don’t give a shit if he wrote the Mona Lisa!”
“I’m not attached to my hip!”
“I’m taking my own life…into my own hands!”
“How’s that for apples?”
“There’s not enough meat to play with”
“That’s a hit…and a miss!”
“If it weighs anything to you….”
“Jesus Christ! That’s slave robbery!
“Welp, I’m going to get hard at work”
“I’m making shit up out of my ass.”
“He was flopping back and forth” (flip flopping)
“I’m going to go tell this kid a piece of my mind…”
“Oh, here you go….you’re going to piss on my parade!”
“Don’t count your chickens before they turn into eggs.”
“Well isn’t that the horse calling the kettle black”
“Does a fat kid shit in the woods?”
“I can sleep through a rock!”
Ibanez AZ series guitars? Yea I know them like they’re in the back of my hand…”
“There’s a lot of onions to that…”
“I’m pulling it off my head”
“Knock the balls off!
-knock it out of the park/socks off
“That’s a double sided sword!”
“You can’t lead a horse to fish…”
“Well isn’t that the horse calling the kettle black”
I love this.
“Welp, I’m going to get hard at work”
Umm... Yeah, that TOTALLY never actually happens to me either.
Im stealing these.
A malapropism? Does that apply? 🤔
That's like if you said "mute point" instead of "moot point."
moo point.
you know, the kind of thing a cow would say.
How you mooin'? 😎
You know, a cow's opinion
How the hell should I know, I’m not a rocket surgeon
Arguably, a mechanic who is literally performing maintenance on exceptionally mechanically dense and complex parts of a rocket, say the rocket engine plumbing or wiring harnesses... is figuratively performing rocket surgery.
"It's not rocket surgery."
This one irks me. Combination of "rocket scientist" and "brain surgery".
Nothing holds a bar to this as being my favorites, but I generally don’t pay much mind to idioms—they’re all water under a duck’s back.
I'm personally a fan of "it's not rocket appliances"
Get two birds stoned at once
I like, "get two birds stoned with one bush" as some bastard amalgamation of "kill two birds with one stone" and "a bird in the hand is worth two in the bush"
- The grass is always greener in the hand.
- You can lead a horse to water, but you can't look it in its mouth.
- We'll burn that bridge when we come to it.
- Caught with his pants in the cookie jar.
That last one... goddamn, that's amazing.
"Not the brightest cookie in the crayon box" is an amalgamation of 3 different sayings I've been trying to make happen. It won't happen.
My mom was fond of "Not the brightest egg in the drawer".
I used to say not the sharpest cookie in the jar
One of my standbys is “that horse has sailed”.
It's not rocket surgery.
It's often called an eggcorn, and here's a really good video that touches on it: https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=JTslqcXsFd4&pp=ygUMRWdnY29ybiBlcmlr
The weirdest one I used to hear often was "for all intensive purposes," like wtf is an intensive purpose?
"The blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb." Meaning contracts, friendships, and keeping promises should take priority over family loyalty.
Now changed to "Blood is thicker than water" and means the exact opposite of the original.
The correct term is Rickyism
Does a bear shit in the Pope’s hat?
People in glass houses shouldn't get stoned
"I'm lost for words"
I like ‘bob’s your oyster’ because both original phrases are nonsensical to me. Is there a word isometric to portmanteau but for phrases / idioms?
Not the brightest bulb in the shed
In a similar vein, "not the sharpest spoon in the drawer"