this post was submitted on 26 Aug 2024
946 points (97.7% liked)

Microblog Memes

5402 readers
3783 users here now

A place to share screenshots of Microblog posts, whether from Mastodon, tumblr, ~~Twitter~~ X, KBin, Threads or elsewhere.

Created as an evolution of White People Twitter and other tweet-capture subreddits.

Rules:

  1. Please put at least one word relevant to the post in the post title.
  2. Be nice.
  3. No advertising, brand promotion or guerilla marketing.
  4. Posters are encouraged to link to the toot or tweet etc in the description of posts.

Related communities:

founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS
 
top 18 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] NONE_dc@lemmy.world 212 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago)

"Okay honey, it's really cool that you're Gay and all. But could you, like... Go back in the closet and come out again? It's for something that's very important to me" πŸ₯Ί

[–] MsPenguinette@lemmy.world 163 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)

This man will never take a shower in peace without being haunted by this memory

[–] dohpaz42@lemmy.world 30 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

You mean β€œshake a tower”. πŸ€¦β€β™‚οΈ

[–] Hobthrob@lemmy.world 3 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Is that an euphemisms for masturbation?

[–] dohpaz42@lemmy.world 2 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago) (1 children)

No. It’s a dad way of saying take a shower, by switching the first two letters of each word.

Edit: another one is the fit has hit the shan, which is a less vulgar way of saying the shit has hit the fan.

[–] Hobthrob@lemmy.world 1 points 3 weeks ago

Guess I still need to work on my own dad jokes, as mine apparently went "whoosh" right there.

It will be on his tombstone.

[–] NOT_RICK@lemmy.world 57 points 3 weeks ago

Homie has the opportunity to ascend to a higher plane of dadhood and completly blew it

[–] CaptDust@sh.itjust.works 43 points 3 weeks ago

You should turn in the dad card immediately, the offices are open 9-3. The regulations were clearly defined - no exceptions.

[–] RandomStickman@fedia.io 28 points 3 weeks ago

Probably need to buy a few pairs of New Balance and khakis for redemption

"You are a father but we do not grant you the rank of 'Dad'."

[–] Darkassassin07@lemmy.ca 24 points 3 weeks ago

Devastating.

[–] penquin@lemm.ee 17 points 3 weeks ago

I'm actually mad about it now. Fucking wasted it, man :/

[–] troglodytis@lemmy.world 14 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Are you sure you're even her dad?

[–] gmtom@lemmy.world 3 points 3 weeks ago

Man needs a paternity test ASAP

[–] moosetwin@lemmy.dbzer0.com 14 points 3 weeks ago

gonna have to take your dad classes again

[–] SpaceNoodle@lemmy.world 12 points 3 weeks ago

Task failed successfully

[–] mavu@discuss.tchncs.de 6 points 3 weeks ago

In a similar situation, i just looked at my wife and said "you owe me 5€."