It sounds almost like there may be something defective in the phone. Every Android device I've ever owned including my current one won't change devices until I disconnect from the one it's currently on.
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I think it's tricky because of different connection types. Mine stays connected to my watch but switches to android auto car and routes audio through there automatically despite being connected to the watch.
This happens to me as well, some Bluetooth devices appear to have a higher priority than others. My friends car will always steal my Bluetooth, and I've had my headset steal it from a co-worker over his actively in use ear buds.
I have a xiaomi redmi Note 8 pro, and my co-worker has an iPhone of some kind, so i don't think the problem is the phones but rather the devices.
My pixel 6 doesn't do that.
I'm wondering if there's something screwy with the android auto settings.
Try renaming your device and unpairing everything.
Man I have the same problem. Definitely mildly infuriating.
Afaik there is no way to change this, at least not in iPhone settings.
I haven’t really researched it, but I will just plug into my car instead of using Bluetooth and only connect to one headset or power off my peripherals unless they’re desired.