this post was submitted on 21 Jun 2024
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Microblog Memes

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[โ€“] PyroNeurosis@lemmy.blahaj.zone 61 points 4 months ago (3 children)

"Mom, I'm not hungry!" "Honey, I can see you're hard. Just eat it."

[โ€“] over_clox@lemmy.world 37 points 4 months ago

How do I delete someone else's comment?

๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿคฃ

[โ€“] Alexstarfire@lemmy.world 15 points 4 months ago

Yep, that's definitely porn.

[โ€“] bionicjoey@lemmy.ca 2 points 4 months ago

Weird Al's Eat It is even weirder than I remember

[โ€“] SquirtleHermit@lemmy.world 39 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago) (1 children)

Well, if they only got hard when we were actually hungry, and not just "bored hungry", I assume the market for crunchy snack foods wouldn't be as prominent.

[โ€“] cm0002@lemmy.world 34 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Pfft as if we wouldn't have come out with a Viagra for teeth LMAO

[โ€“] NegativeInf@lemmy.world 13 points 4 months ago

Well, this is horrifying. Just the thought of old men before Tooth Viagra comes out just trying to eat chips with their knobbly wobbly teeth.

[โ€“] AddledGoat@lemmy.ca 24 points 4 months ago

There would be no change because I am always hungry.

[โ€“] brlemworld@lemmy.world 22 points 4 months ago (2 children)

Blowjobs would be even more enjoyable and have less risk of harm

[โ€“] FrowingFostek@lemmy.world 12 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Wouldn't this mean every blowjob would have to be on a full stomach?

If they get hungry while going down, do the teeth inflate like a balloon or, click up like a switch blade?

[โ€“] Scubus@sh.itjust.works 16 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Does ur dick click up like a switchblade???

[โ€“] over_clox@lemmy.world 3 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago)

Found the spitter...

[โ€“] hark@lemmy.world 16 points 4 months ago

Doesn't saliva production increase in anticipation of food? Kinda like...

[โ€“] over_clox@lemmy.world 14 points 4 months ago (2 children)

My teeth retract into my gums until I get hungry.

Yours don't?

[โ€“] expatriado@lemmy.world 6 points 4 months ago (1 children)

mine retract when i go to the swimming pool

[โ€“] over_clox@lemmy.world 8 points 4 months ago

Shrinkage, SHRINKAGE!!!

[โ€“] neo@lemy.lol 5 points 4 months ago

Only my fangs.

[โ€“] klemptor@startrek.website 13 points 4 months ago (1 children)

I can't decide if I love or hate this idea.

[โ€“] neo@lemy.lol 5 points 4 months ago (2 children)

Let me help you with an additional rule: horny and hungry hardening shall be coupled and only occur together or not at all.

[โ€“] klemptor@startrek.website 4 points 4 months ago

This calls for a pastrami sandwich.

[โ€“] Zorsith@lemmy.blahaj.zone 4 points 4 months ago

"We're eating out for dinner tonight"

[โ€“] Zachariah@lemmy.world 11 points 4 months ago
[โ€“] athairmor@lemmy.world 6 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Milkshakes would be a larger percentage of fast food sales.

[โ€“] echodot@feddit.uk 1 points 4 months ago

Mcdonald's would be out of business then.

[โ€“] ivanafterall@lemmy.world 6 points 4 months ago (1 children)

It could be kinda nice to run your tongue over your squishy, deflated teeth between meals.

[โ€“] paws@cyberpaws.lol 5 points 4 months ago (1 children)

And cleaning them might involve some sort of tooth sucker device to suck them clean between meals for all the hard to reach places.

[โ€“] spaghetti_hitchens@kbin.run 8 points 4 months ago

I'm gonna go suck my wife's teeth and see what her reaction is

[โ€“] AngryishHumanoid@lemmy.world 5 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Then I would be hard all the time in more ways than one.

[โ€“] kusivittula@sopuli.xyz 4 points 4 months ago (1 children)
[โ€“] AngryishHumanoid@lemmy.world 4 points 4 months ago

Hey it still counts.

[โ€“] dharmacurious 4 points 4 months ago (1 children)
[โ€“] cinabongo@lemmy.world 2 points 4 months ago (1 children)

That is very relevant and hilarious ๐Ÿ˜

[โ€“] dharmacurious 2 points 4 months ago

I love Nigel and marmalade so much. I didn't think I'd like it at first, but it's my favorite shorts series

[โ€“] taiyang@lemmy.world 4 points 4 months ago (1 children)

If it's one to one how we get erect normally, and as the human body essentially inflates using blood, your teeth would ultimately be blood sponges. Seems impractical.

Of course, take it a step farther and maybe physiologically the blood hardens to a sharp point. I know some fantasy settings where bloodstone is a thing, so I guess that. If it was possible, it'd look sick as fuck.

[โ€“] Zorsith@lemmy.blahaj.zone 3 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago)

Or maybe our teeth retract using that as a mechanism?