this post was submitted on 08 Jun 2024
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New To Being Trans W/ A Few Questions (fedia.io)
submitted 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago) by Zeke@fedia.io to c/ftm@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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Hi, I'm Zeke. I'm 32 and last year I finally came to the conclusion that I am transmasc after years of being unhappy with who I was and how I looked. I've done so much research into it, but I'm still left with questions. First off, I should say that I have opted not to do HRT. HRT has too many health risks that I can't take due to heart related issues that run in my family. It's not worth that risk to me. So I'm trying a different route.

I've decided to go the route of surgery w/ changes to how I dress and how I get my hair cut. I've lost about 18.6lbs out of 25lbs to get my top surgery and so far it has been really good for me health wise and affirming wise. I'm so close to the first step and I can't wait for the positive effects especially since my bust size causes physical discomfort and shortness of breath so it's a two in one benefit. My questions for this one is "Does silicone gel work better than lotion for scars?" and "Are you comfortable being topless for swimming/beach visits?"

Now here's where I most uncomfortable because I've heard of people being negative about it, but I plan to get vocal surgery to deepen my voice. Here's where my questions come in. Has anyone else gotten this surgery? If so, what's it like and what were your experiences with recovery? How different has it made your voice?

I just wonder if others have chosen the surgical route. I don't have anyone or anywhere else to ask these questions so I figured I'd drop them here. Thank you for any answers!

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[–] Catoblepas@lemmy.blahaj.zone 17 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Has a doctor specializing in trans HRT told you that T is too dangerous for your heart, or is it something you assume you can’t do because of relatives’ health issues? You don’t have to answer, I just ask because if it’s something you want then it’s worth getting an informed medical opinion over; consider that the treatment for heart issues is basically never to block T in cis men.

Feel free to disregard if you’re not interested in T regardless of the health situation, but I’d hate for you to tell yourself you can’t have it if that’s not actually the case.

Congrats on the weight loss and the upcoming surgery! My surgeon recommended Aquaphor or Vaseline for the first 6 weeks, because keeping it moist is supposed to promote minimal scarring. After that he recommended silicone scar strips, but I skipped out on those because I generally have minimal scarring when healing.

The first time I was topless in public it was intimidating, both because I’d been socialized for years to never let that happen and because I was worried people would stare at my scars. But the vast majority of people aren’t going around staring at (men’s!) chests at the beach, so that feeling went away fairly quickly and I had a good time.

Be sure to put sunscreen on your scars for at least a year when you’re topless! UV can make scarring worse, and it takes 6-12 months for everything to settle after surgery.

[–] Zeke@fedia.io 7 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago)

I haven't talked to a doctor about it, but I've already been told I have heart murmurs by my primary doctor. I'd prefer not to take a risk that could make heart disease and heart problems more likely for me. My mom already struggles with heart related issues and I'd prefer not taking that risk after seeing what she goes through. I'm settled on not taking it for those reasons. I appreciate the concern though.

Thank you so much for the advice! I'll make a note of it for my surgeries. The advice should be helpful for both ^^

[–] satanmat@lemmy.world 10 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Whelp. First. You rock.

Second. Lanolin… you should be able to find pure lanolin in most reasonable drug stores, you may need to check in the maternal section… brilliant for helping scars heal…

All the best my dude.

[–] Zeke@fedia.io 5 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Thank you!! I'll look into that option. Have you used it before, just seen the results from someone else, or a suggestion you got?

[–] satanmat@lemmy.world 4 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago) (1 children)

Cis man whose wife had a c-section. So yeah. I guess second hand. It helped with scarring and sore nipples.

Ninja edit— oh yeah you only need a very little. It smells like wet sheep. But it works. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

@Zeke I’m hoping to be helpful I have close friends and family who — are in similar situations. Cheers

[–] Zeke@fedia.io 2 points 5 months ago

Awesome! Thank you!

[–] cowboycrustation@lemmy.blahaj.zone 1 points 4 months ago

Also this is a good resource for styling:

https://ftmguide.rassaku.net/guide/index.htm

[–] cowboycrustation@lemmy.blahaj.zone 1 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Hello, Zeke,

Unfortunately I haven't had top surgery yet due to monetary reasons so I can't give you much anecdotal evidence, but there is another post on this community about silicone gel being effective.

I also recommend trying voice training and figuring out your vocal range. There's a couple of videos on YouTube that really helped me out. I can get you those resources if you'd like.

I'm glad you chose to post on this community. Feel free to ask all the questions in the world.

[–] Zeke@fedia.io 1 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Here's my concern about voice training. I'm not going on HRT so I won't be getting the vocal deepening from that so I don't know how much of a difference the voice training would be. That's why I was aiming for the surgery.

[–] cowboycrustation@lemmy.blahaj.zone 2 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago) (1 children)

Even if you don't have a deep voice pre T, vocal training will still be of great help. There are a lot of vocal habits and innotations that people read as male or female. Just having a deep voice will not make you sound like a man or masculine.

[–] Zeke@fedia.io 1 points 4 months ago

I'll give it a shot in hopes that it'll work. I've been told by my therapist I don't have the feminine speech patterns already so we'll see if it helps. If I remember, I'll come back to say whether it helped or not. Thank you =)