this post was submitted on 28 May 2024
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politics

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[–] FunderPants@lemmy.ca 127 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago) (8 children)

Juror #2 an "investment banker" who gets all their news exclusively from ~~Trump~~ Truth social and ~~Elon~~ twitter. The red hat is there to save the day, hang the jury on some nonsense to protect the cult leader.

If I'm wrong, and the jury convicts, point to this thread and I'll donate $25 to charity.

The observers in the court won't say who it is, but I guarantee its that one.

Edit: I have chosen Special Olympics Canada as the charity.

Edit2: I was wrong, I will make that donation tonight and post the blurry receipt

[–] HornyOnMain@fedia.io 61 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago) (1 children)

To balance it out and give to charity regardless of the outcome, I'll donate $50 if you're right. That way there's always something good happening even if it may be small.

[–] FunderPants@lemmy.ca 21 points 5 months ago
[–] KevonLooney@lemm.ee 31 points 5 months ago (3 children)

Nah. Most jurors are paying attention to the evidence. Trump supporters aren't the lone rebels they think they are. There's literally a mountain of evidence and the prosecutor's closing argument was 6.5 hours long (not including breaks).

Every other person in that jury room is going to want to go home and won't put up with someone stopping them. Even if this dude tries anything (he probably won't), he's going to crack by day 3.

I bet we see a guilty verdict for at least some of the charges within 3 days.

[–] elbarto777@lemmy.world 8 points 5 months ago

God I hope you're right!

[–] eran_morad@lemmy.world 5 points 5 months ago (1 children)
[–] KevonLooney@lemm.ee 5 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Some jurors just asked for and received a laptop from the prosecution with all the evidence on it. That means they won't have to ask to view individual pieces of evidence, which will make this much faster.

That tells me they are interested in the evidence and that they want to get this over with. A possible quick (3 day) decision would mean they are done by Friday.

[–] eran_morad@lemmy.world 2 points 5 months ago (1 children)

All it takes is one traitor - one - and he walks.

[–] KevonLooney@lemm.ee 2 points 5 months ago (1 children)

No, it doesn't. You're watching too much 24 hour news or something. These jurors don't just silently vote, they discuss the case for the entire time.

Any juror is going to be asked by the others how they came to their conclusion. There's no way to get away with it without scrutiny. Trump supporters can't stand scrutiny, especially not with this much evidence and 34 felonies! They should convict on at least some of them. Trump literally signed the checks.

[–] eran_morad@lemmy.world 3 points 5 months ago (2 children)

You’re being naive. MAGA fucktards are not the sort of people who give a fuck about facts and revel in the thought of pissing off the decent among us.

[–] KevonLooney@lemm.ee 5 points 5 months ago (1 children)

No, you're being naive if you think one person can stand in the way of 11 New Yorkers who want to go home for the weekend.

[–] Septimaeus@infosec.pub 6 points 5 months ago (1 children)

This got me good. I’m imagining a bro from Staten Island stuck in a dusty quiet room with bad coffee and New Yorkers from every borough 100% ready to cook.

He can’t log off. He can’t flee to his safe spaces. He can’t feed himself reassuring 4chan memes. He’s exposed. These are his neighbors. There’s nowhere to run. Will his fear and adoration of a wannabe dictator sustain him? Tune in next week to find out.

[–] KevonLooney@lemm.ee 8 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Worse, they're all from Manhattan and 2 of them are lawyers. If they already scheduled a Saturday tee time and the weather is supposed to be nice... I wouldn't want to be in their way.

[–] Septimaeus@infosec.pub 3 points 5 months ago (1 children)
[–] KevonLooney@lemm.ee 2 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Tee time early Friday, I guess?

[–] Septimaeus@infosec.pub 1 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago)

Yeah he did the job! Now If his MAGA friends doxx him, we gotta make a strong showing of solidarity for our neighbor who wasn’t a total asshole. Fair’s fair.

[–] KevonLooney@lemm.ee 1 points 5 months ago (1 children)
[–] eran_morad@lemmy.world 0 points 5 months ago

This was all predicated on there being a MAGA traitor on the jury, which can only be known to the traitor himself. But you have fun stroking your dick.

[–] FunderPants@lemmy.ca 2 points 5 months ago

You won the bet, good on ya.

[–] SarcasticMan@lemmy.world 11 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago)

If you are right I will donate $25 worth of Monopolowa to my stomach.

Edit: convicted lol I donated the Monopolowa anyway skål or should I say dzięki or would it be prost fuck it cheers!

[–] crawancon@lemm.ee 7 points 5 months ago

does lemmy have a RemindMe bot?

[–] iAmTheTot@kbin.social 1 points 5 months ago (1 children)

The observers in the court won’t say who it is, but I guarantee its that one.

Are the votes of the jury generally revealed?

[–] Drusas@kbin.run 4 points 5 months ago
[–] Burn_The_Right@lemmy.world 1 points 5 months ago

I have chosen Special Olympics Canada as the charity.

Well done!

[–] Rentlar@lemmy.ca 1 points 5 months ago

I had saved this thread! Woo hoo! Glad you pulled through with your promise.

[–] Rapidcreek@lemmy.world 65 points 5 months ago

"A truly hung jury would laugh Trump out of the locker room."

~ Stormy probably

[–] StinkyOnions@lemmy.world 30 points 5 months ago (3 children)

Hung is something Trump wished he was.

[–] kitnaht@lemmy.world 15 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago) (2 children)

I certainly wish he was too. Just not in such a nice way :D

[–] ShunkW@lemmy.world 11 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Quirk of English, but the word you're looking for is hanged.

[–] kitnaht@lemmy.world 22 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago) (1 children)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PJVNzwTnfbk

Wrong. Hung is correct in the same manner.

I reject your bullshit English rules that are outdated and churlish.

[–] disguy_ovahea@lemmy.world 21 points 5 months ago (2 children)

Chicanerous and deplorable.

[–] StinkyOnions@lemmy.world 14 points 5 months ago (1 children)

It’s lewd, lascivious, salacious, outrageous.

[–] TheRealKuni@lemmy.world 3 points 5 months ago

I find this meatloaf rather shallow and pedantic.

[–] baldingpudenda@lemmy.world 7 points 5 months ago (1 children)
[–] CuttingBoard@sopuli.xyz 5 points 5 months ago
[–] elbarto777@lemmy.world 1 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago) (1 children)

Be careful with what you post publicly, friend.

I hate Trump, but the SS takes comments like yours seriously enough to trigger an investigation.

Edit: I've been schooled. So it's more like winning the lottery. But is that a lottery you'd like to risk winning, though?

[–] kitnaht@lemmy.world 5 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago) (1 children)

You're talking out of your ass. Stuff like this is mild compared to what it takes to trigger that kind of response. Millions of people make comments like these on the daily.

[–] elbarto777@lemmy.world 1 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Millions, huh? Show me 100,763 examples.

[–] kitnaht@lemmy.world 3 points 5 months ago (1 children)

https://idahocapitalsun.com/2023/01/31/of-more-than-7500-threats-against-members-of-congress-in-2022-just-22-prosecuted/

7500 hardcore, actually-directed-enough-to-take-serious threats per year. Now, consider all the maga morons and their constant shit talking across the internet, and it's easy to extrapolate.

[–] elbarto777@lemmy.world 3 points 5 months ago (1 children)

That's not the 100,763 I requested. Checkmate!

But more seriously, thank you for schooling me. I was indeed talking out of my ass, then.

[–] kitnaht@lemmy.world 3 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Sorry for being so harsh with my wording; I live in the south, so I've gotta deal with a lot of MAGA assholes and it's kind of ingrained itself into my personality a little. Also, thanks for looking out for me, I know you were just trying to make sure I wasn't targeted :)

[–] elbarto777@lemmy.world 1 points 5 months ago

No apology necessary. I'd do the same in your position.

[–] DandomRude@lemmy.world 10 points 5 months ago

Some time back he might would have been for treason.

[–] negativenull@lemmy.world 4 points 5 months ago

You know what they say about men with tiny hands...

[–] athos77@kbin.social 28 points 5 months ago

That's been obvious since the beginning.

[–] Sorgan71@lemmy.world 14 points 5 months ago

I mean I dont see how their dick size affects it but ok