this post was submitted on 22 Jul 2024
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Greentext
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This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.
Be warned:
- Anon is often crazy.
- Anon is often depressed.
- Anon frequently shares thoughts that are immature, offensive, or incomprehensible.
If you find yourself getting angry (or god forbid, agreeing) with something Anon has said, you might be doing it wrong.
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What did anon do wrong? It's a blithe, silly answer and bothers nobody. Anon can totally go back.
You're not wrong, but it comes down to delivery. I've said a lot of bizarre, goofy lines in my time, in various stages of social aptitude. The same line comes across very differently based on whether it's said confidently with a self-assured smile, or muttered while looking at your shoes.
This is my problem, I am impulsive and silly enough to still say things, but the way they come out sometimes makes me want to die a little inside and stop being perceived forever.
Sometimes if I am not doing too badly I still can turn it around, where the very failure of delivery can on its own get the laughs (or groans). If I sort of stay with it long enough to express something like "yeah, that was bad wasn't it? want more?". But it does require a minimum of social aptitude like you said, which for me varies a lot.
Since I have ADHD and Dyspraxia (motor disorder) I fuck up the delivery of things I want to say 9 times out of 10. I stopped giving a damn long ago because it really doesn't matter unless you're doing something that requires being fake as fuck to get ahead (job interviews), but I would be lying if I said it doesn't keep me up at night...
By the way, fuck employers who hire based on how good someone is at talking rather than skill. I pretty much can't speak for an extended amount of time without messing up a lot, and I suck at small talk, so if I had too little sleep or it's just not that kind of day I can be awkward to talk to for normies. I get it if it's for a sales position or something, I mean social manipulation is literally your job in that case, but this is for software development positions and stuff. Like for most tech jobs your job security/pay is 90% dependent on your social abilities, as well as your ability to convince your (usually clueless) employer that you're doing a lot of work – the amount of people who do significantly more work than others but get worse outcomes because the boss doesn't like them or they aren't getting credit for the work they do is insanely high. You could barely know how to do your job but still get ahead of others if you're good at social manipulation or even if others like your personality more.
I work on a more technical field of computer science (Computational Linguistics & a lot of stuff involving directed graphs) and stay as far away from anything involving web development or making products for clients as possible, so I don't have to deal with this shit, my job mostly depends on actual results. I probably would get better opportunities if I could socialize more neurotypically, but I'm not gonna dwell on a reality that can't exist. And I'm glad I actually have employment opportunities in the first place, if I instead went into humanities or business or wasn't able to do a degree somehow then I would've already killed myself ngl ((I am American, a humanities degree is basically just a piece of fancy paper that costed $50k+)). Besides, if I ever make $300k per year like big tech engineers, I might have to have my head chopped off when the revolution inevitably arrives.
Literally the type of line I'd use as a litmus test to see if people were cool.
Anon is locked into self directed attention showing him his shame when considering that there is a whimsical part of himself known as the chocolate man inside himself. Why this makes him ashamed is not specified. I speculate that there is a belief that if other people knew he would be the subject of ridicule.