this post was submitted on 02 Jul 2022
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That must've been a hilarious meeting
“Welcome, everyone. So, we have decided to remove the 'Don't be evil.' from our branding as it no longer represents the moral values our company holds and we strive to achieve. That is all for today. Have a nice rest of the week.”
At least that would be honest. Sadly, it was probably more /aboringdystopia like, "and here's an update from our legal counsel. Legal: we've reviewed all the company documents, and to remain in compliance we've had to update a few things. One change that might get a lot of attention is the removal of 'dont be evil' from our mission statement. It is important to understand that this has no reflection on our values or company culture, but if we were to allow such language to remain, it might jeopardize other more specific legal provisions. That sort of thing is fine for startups, but as a real grownup company we have to do things by the book. Yadda yadda yadda."
"Because after all, we're evil. Thanks for coming to my TED talk" -- Google CEO, probably