this post was submitted on 04 Jul 2024
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Day 7 of the lemon tree thorn accident. That tree should be weaponised, finger is still blistering.
It'd be completely demoralising.
There you are standing in the field, bombs going off left right. Tinnitus drowning out the aural horror.. Then some fuck comes at you brandishing a lemon tree branch. You need to think quickly, this is life or death. First thought is what type of lemon... Meyer? With those sweet floral undertones... Lisbon? How thick is the pith? Would it make good limoncello? Are they really worth $1.19ea at woolies?
Before you can appraise the lemon and with various recipes flashing before your eyes it's too late. You've been struck!
You return to base, seemingly with a minor injury. Your comrades laughing at you.. but over the next few days their laughter subsides into deep pity watching you try and delicately put your right shoe on without using your normal finger.