this post was submitted on 04 Jul 2024
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"They fuck you up, your mum and dad.
They may not mean to, but they do.
They fill you with the faults they had
And add some extra, just for you.
But they were fucked up in their turn
By fools in old-style hats and coats,
Who half the time were soppy-stern
And half at one another’s throats.
Man hands on misery to man.
It deepens like a coastal shelf.
Get out as early as you can,
And don’t have any kids yourself. "
*This Be The Verse
I did not get out early, but my eventual spouse and I were on the same page: the crazy stops with me.
My sister had different plans and now has two neurodivergent kids. ᕕ(ᐛ)ᕗ
I'm pretty sure that one of my parents and their siblings are all ND. I don't think it's terrible, but the unawareness certainly is.
Agreed. At least one of them has been in for assessment, not sure about the other but the signs are there.
And I should probably clarify. There's other (undiagnosed) mental illness that runs in my family, and one side in particular is rife with substance abuse. Whether the root of those issues can be traced to "benign" forms of neurodivergence is moot outside of genetics: the learned behavioral patterns of abuse and violence were pretty deeply ingrained. I only got to see some of it growing up, but it was enough. I wanted nothing to do with any of it. My brother fell into the drug trap in early adulthood. My sister was the youngest, and was thankfully shielded from the worst of the family bullshit. She still did the same thing my mom did though: had kids way too young with a meathead, and not enough money.
I am trying to be a role model for my nephew in particular, but as my shit isn't exactly together it's an uphill battle. There's a whole world of toxic influencers out there taking in the bucks by telling him who and what to blame his problems on, all available at the tap of a screen. And then there's... gestures vaguely at the world at large ...yeah.
Awe, she had one to make up for you! How sweet of her!