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[Question] How do you balance your mental health? (orcas.enjoying.yachts)

submitted 1 year ago by soben@orcas.enjoying.yachts to c/dadsonly@lemmy.world

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Ever since we've had kids, my usual laid back attitude has been replaced with increasing stress and anxiety. I feel like I manage it well enough, but at the same time I find myself becoming more and more of a hermit.

I need to get out more (run club once a week right now), and I always feel better when I do, but I also feel guilty for leaving the wife with the kids, or not spending time with them, by doing things for myself.

What do you to balance yourself and your family?

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[–] bayport@yall.theatl.social 1 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I don’t have any suggestions and all I can do is commiserate that the struggle is real

[–] soben@orcas.enjoying.yachts 2 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I greatly benefit from being hard of hearing and a wife that understands that we don't both have to suffer. For both of our kids, she's let me sleep without my hearing aids (and thus, not waking up with every little sound). As they get older, I'm solely responsible for them at night (she wakes me, and I go take care of them), but I still benefit from true silence at night, and only woken when it's important.

The other, unspoken, part of my question is the fact that our lives are busy AF, and our time is absurdly limited. My free time ends up being chores, or doing things that I've either neglected or that have piled up in the interim (so many things to do around the house, both fun and not)... it's so rare to find time to do nothing

[–] cozycosmic@lemmy.world 3 points 1 year ago

Our baby isn't here yet and I feel the same thing. My partner has had intense symptoms from the pregnancy, and isn't capable of what she normally is. We also have dogs, cats, goats, chickens, and a garden. And I am taking care of 90% of it. I don't have almost any "nothing" time.

I am hoping it gets better after the baby is here and her body recovers. But I fear the world you are experiencing. Good luck and let me know if you find out a technique.