Bisexual

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This is a community for bisexuals, their allies, friends, family, anyone curious about us or our community, or just people who want to hang out.

Bisexual means different things to different people, and I'm not going to tell you what it should mean to you. But one thing I will say is that being bisexual does NOT mean being trans-exclusionary. We love no matter what dingles, dongles, or dangles you do or do not have in your pants.

Of course, there are the basic rules. No hate speech, no brigading, no doxing, no homophobia, no transphobia, no sexism, no racism, no illegal material. Rules will be added as needed.

At the moment, we do not have a hard and fast rule over NSFW images or posts, but I will say that this is a community about bisexuality, not for porn. Please don't make me ban NSFW content altogether.

founded 1 year ago

MODERATORS

WaltJRimmer@lemmy.world

MacedWindow@lemmy.world

MxRemy@lemmy.one

odium@programming.dev

I came out to myself during the pandemic and I still feel all messed up about it. Any advice or lived experience is appreciated ❤️ (lemmynsfw.com)

submitted 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago) by MrButt@lemmynsfw.com to c/bisexual@lemmy.world

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Hello nice people,

Im in my early 30s and only came out to myself and wife a couple years ago during lockdown.

Fast forward to now, a few years later. I’ve only been with 2 other dudes and basically only once. I’m talking with a guy and we seem to mesh pretty well but I’m feeling sick to my stomach with anxiety over the prospect of meeting him in person. I’m way in my head about it. I definitely want to meet and enjoy what I enjoy but I’ve got a huge mental block which makes me feel like I’m doing something bad and immoral. Even with full permission from my wife and I’ve done this before and thoroughly enjoyed this. My stomach aches and it’s like I hold myself to crazy standards that I myself would look down on someone else if they had those standards too. It’s like I’m homophobic to myself and myself only. I don’t see other gay or bisexual dudes as weak or less than but if I indulge in anything homosexual, it feels like I’m weak and less than.

If anyone has experienced this or knows someone who feels this or if ya have some wisdom or even just a related story, I’m all ears. I know a therapist is arguably the best person to deal with this but I’m curious what the community thinks.

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[–] 5714@lemmy.dbzer0.com 9 points 5 months ago (1 children)

I am too tired to write much, but I feel you. The phenomenon you're experiencing is internalised homophobia, so it might help you to look a bit into that topic.

https://www.healthline.com/health/what-is-internalized-homophobia

[–] MrButt@lemmynsfw.com 6 points 5 months ago

Ya spot on with that one. Identifying things is easy, actually mitigating them and learning to accept myself - work in progress 🤪 thanks for the link I’ll check it out and make sure you get some rest!