Autism

For me, it’s been best to find other people who are looking to make friends rather than jumping into other people’s friendships. It’s tempting to see people who already have friends or friend groups or who look like they’re having fun or doing interesting things and want to just slide into their group. For me, this always results in me feeling like I have to impress people socially, like no one has time for me (because they all already have full social lives) and like I’m forever an outsider (if the group have known one another for a long time). It’s also tempting to avoid people who seem alone or like they’re looking to make friends - like you’re suddenly transported back to grade school and don’t want to get lumped in with the social rejects (even though now you know the ‘nerds and weirdos’ who found one another in those times were having probably having a better time together than the dramatic popular crowd). I’ve noticed the quality of relationships I form with other people who are actually looking to meet new people is much better than when I try to fit into an established social group. I think it’s a really good option for ND people to meet at meet ups, book clubs, drop-in game nights, or other organized events where you could encounter strangers who might be looking for friends, have a reason to talk to them, and feel them out for whatever ND vibes would match or compliment your own.