this post was submitted on 08 May 2024
692 points (98.6% liked)
Greentext
4483 readers
2146 users here now
This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.
Be warned:
- Anon is often crazy.
- Anon is often depressed.
- Anon frequently shares thoughts that are immature, offensive, or incomprehensible.
If you find yourself getting angry (or god forbid, agreeing) with something Anon has said, you might be doing it wrong.
founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS
you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
view the rest of the comments
Outside of Seattle/Tacoma, very redneck. Get up to the mountains where they make all the meth and the cattle farms are pretty redneck too, but they have stripper coffee shacks nearby.
Stripper coffee is where ladies strip? And there's hot beverages?
Pretty much hit the nail on the head right there. That's exactly what they are.
This is the first time I've heard about these stripper coffee shacks. I want reviews (since I doubt I'll have enough money to ever visit one)
They're pretty cheap if you're in the area, but they are also as trashy as you would expect. My review is... like if you combined a Starbucks and a Hooters with less clothes, put them in a food truck or temporary shack // shed like easy to set up location and most of them have a drive through option if you need coffee and titties on the go. It's not as crazy as it sounds and I'm actually surprised they really aren't a more common thing. I guess one thing that helps is that it is illegal to sell alcohol at a strip club in Washington State so strip clubs were already in the coffee business when the idea was created. It's a little funny because all the strip clubs let you BYOB, you just can't buy or sell it at the club.
They're usually called bikini baristas and its a woman in a bikini or lingerie who makes coffee. Some got busted years back for doing handies.
I have never actually patronized one but there's a few in my area, mostly in gas station parking lots. The operations can be pretty fucking rough.
I always cringe when I see the poor girl throwing on a bathrobe to cart the wastewater across the lot to the gas station slop drain since there's no internal plumbing in her road facing booth.
Yup, I used to live near Seattle and passed a couple on my way to literally anywhere. A lot have a cowgirl theme (one near me was shaped like a boot). I don't know how good their beverages are (never went to one), but they were quite popular, because sex sells.
I never heard about the handies, but it honestly doesn't surprise me. I did hear about massage parlors having happy endings, which is largely the same thing. WA is usually pretty lax about enforcement of stuff like that unless there's a complaint.
So are we talking Christina Ricci in chains or more like Kim Basinger riding Michael Shannon?
You don't even have to go that far, I used to live in a coastal Navy town that had a meth problem. I bought my car from a dealership that got busted 6 months later. KFC was where they sold the meth that was cooked in the Ford dealership across the street. I almost miss Oak Harbor...
Oh yeah, I've been around the country enough to know that anywhere outside of the city is Red, no matter what state you're in, but "Redneck" just has a very specific southern connotation to me.
I lived near Federal Way, and by driving just 15 min, I could go see people riding horses, idiots rolling coal, and trailer trash communities and everything. Just a block or two over from my house, I'd see the stereotypical furniture and appliances littering front lawns. A block or two the other direction was typical was typical PNW neighborhoods with cedar shake roofs nestled into the evergreens. And a few blocks beyond that would be someone with a couple cows on a massive field.
WA is an odd place. I'm in Utah now in a similar community, and there seems to be far fewer "rednecks" in my area. There are some farms, but I guess there just isn't as much "liberal" culture to visibly resist or something. Our actual rednecks live a bit further out, and they're probably more extreme (have some DezNat nonsense here in the sticks). We have more lifted trucks, whereas in WA they'd be older work trucks (they actually have hay to move).