this post was submitted on 07 May 2024
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le vent/le thoughts
Ugh, I need to socialise with friends more. There's a meetup at a pub on Friday that my partners mates are going to and have invited us (and others). Partners ex-coworkers from an old job, have hung out with them heaps over the years.I just want to hide away forever, like the longer I go without seeing mates the less I actually want to. Which is bad for my mental health, bc I usually justify it with self-destructive thoughts (like "you're not that funny or smart", "you're jobless so what's there to talk about?", "they just pretend to like you because they like [partner]", etc). Which is not healthy.
Wish I was socialised more as a kid, honestly, some of this I can tell is because I didn't have friends when I was a youngun
Of course this is all dependent on whether we're negative come Friday arvo, but I already feel dread and am wrestling with myself about this.
This is highly dependent on transport/partner also being willing to leave (and I know how hard it can be for adults to get together). But is it possible to go for just an hour or two and then leave?
I have also done this before lol, this is definitely an option as where I am and where the pub is, is very much serviced by a lot of PTV.
Sometimes just getting out and listening to others is enough.
True true! I have done that before and had a lovely time each time.
I think it's just, like, the depression. The simple chores, the simple self-care, the simple socialisation, is difficult to start but easy once I'm actually doing it.
I'm like an old lawn mower that required a good amount of arm strength and willpower to keep pulling the cord and pushing the machine at the same time to start, but once started, I'm revved up
Hi friend
Hello, I have neglected you. This shall be amended in the coming weeks ๐
If partner and I are well, you are welcome to join us at the pub too this Friday arvo of course :)