this post was submitted on 28 Apr 2024
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Accidentally misgendering someone is not harassment.
Intentionally doing so is. Because that's the whole point of intentionally doing so.
But accidentally misgendering someone is often considered paramount to taking part in the holocaust. I'm not mean, I'm just lazy, and I don't want to talk on egg shells to make sure I accurately read someone's gender correctly. You can only take some much unjustified vilification before you start to think "you know what? fuck you. I'm going to misgender you out of spite".
I accidentally misgender trans people all the time. Never have I ever been accused of being transphobic because I handle it like calling someone the wrong name accidentally. I quickly correct myself and move on, and actively do my best to remember their pronouns going forward.
Sure, it takes half a braincell of effort at first, but then it becomes easier. This is a strategy known as "not being a dick".
That said I call everyone Carl because I'm too lazy to learn everyone's name, and I don't want to walk on eggshells to make sure I don't call someone the wrong name accidentally./s
I like calling everyone Carl, lol.
IDK, to me it's not that much different than trying to keep someone's religious denomination straight. I really just don't care what particular branch of stupid you're into.
But hey, that's me, a cys white male living their life oblivious to your personal struggle. Fuck me, am I right? If you want to have a conversation about toppling capitalism, you might get my attention.
I'm also a cis white dude, but I've grown past the stage of saying "woah is me I'm standing in a place of privilege". That attitude does nothing for anyone.
Allow yourself to be called out, because that's how you get called in. If you want change, you have to be willing to be uncomfortable, because that's what growing feels like. That discomfort is part of you having empathy for others, but it will go away as you learn to love and respect those who are not like you.
I get it, it's easy to want to focus on how patriarchal systems have put us in a strange position of being both an aggressor and a victim, and it's easier to face being a victim than considering how we've been complicit in this system. We do need to talk about men's new role in an egalitarian society, and how we can best support men going forward, but being apathetic towards the dignity of others is not how you topple capitalism.
exactly. you do that with guns. toughen up, cupcake.
man it sounds like you became a communist when you realized you could guillotine people.
i'm more than willing to employ the guillotine as a tool for change. are you?
Naw man you're bloodthirsty
if you'd been fighting a useless war of words as long as i have, you would be too. it's okay junior. you'll realize your mistakes one day.
I'm starting to think the reason you've been called a Nazi isn't because you've misgendered someone.
Dude, don't listen to bullshit propaganda. Actually talk to trans people and find out what they think.
I think I'll just mind my business and not let anyone police my - checks notes- words
Expecting you to treat people with basic respect is not policing your words. Do you go around calling black people the negroes? I hope not. Is it because you think that's extremely disrespectful? I hope so.
It doesn't take much effort to spot black people. I know how to treat them with respect because that's easy. Again, I'm just lazy a little spiteful. Sorry not sorry.
It's really not the big effort you seem to think it is. If someone looks like a man to you, you refer to them with masculine pronouns and if they correct you, you apologize and go with the pronouns they prefer.
The point is that you don't keep doing it when they tell you that you're using the wrong pronouns.
meanwhile, i'll be over here not caring what pronoun you use for me. see how easy that is?
Why do you think people should only care about what you care about and not care about the things you don't care about?
You sound like you come from a position of privilege and have not been treated with the maliciousness and even violence trans people have to deal with on a daily basis.
I suppose asking you to put yourself in their shoes would be too much?
The system I am actually trying to dismantle is what is oppressing these people, not me. I have my sights set on the big targets and find the trans movement to be a divisive distraction. I have sympathy but it's not really my battle. My battle is one that affects all of us, not just some of us.
You are part of that system if you don't give them the basic respect of self-identity they are due. If that is not part of your fight, you're part of the problem.
I don't agree with that but you're entitled to your opinion.
Would you fight against bigots calling black people the N-word or is that also not something you care about? Just wondering where the line is.
there's a very good chance that the same bigots that use the N word are the same enemy as the one that supports the right. JK Rowling is not my enemy though.
I see. Bigotry against black people is to be fought against but bigotry against trans people is acceptable. I wonder what other marginalized groups you think that should just accept the bigotry hurled at them?
probably bronies and furries. that's all on the same level of absurdity in my opinion.
And as I thought, the issue here is that you yourself are a bigot.
Why not toss other queer people into that category while you're at it? Are gay men are no different from bronies and furries and they should just tolerate being called f*s? Or are those disgusting trans people that make you feel icky the only people who get harassed and attacked for their immutable characteristics that should just suck it up and take all the hatred thrown at them?
I translate: „I think I keep being a dickhead and keep not caring about other people because my lazyness is more important to me than your feelings.“
guilty as charged. I'm an equal opportunity asshole these days and don't really care. no one is going to help change the things that are important to me, so I'm really not interested in your sad song.
Just because 4chan and Fox News says so, doesn't make it true
Gosh it sure seems like you're just making excuses to be a spiteful petty asshole to groups you don't like