this post was submitted on 23 Apr 2024
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I don't think he's got enough breath to really argue now! Walking across the room and back leaves hiim exhausted and sounding like a steam train. Unfortunately Mum is the one who is in the position to make decisions and she is not at all assertive. They will both keep saying they are fine even when they are not. They are also regional and have a lot less services available which makes it a bit harder to organise things too.
It's a frustrating position to be in, but they are both adults capable of making their own decisions so there is not a lot I can really do, especially when I am a couple of hours drive away. I find it a bit disappointing that no one involved is pushing to do a bit more, surely they have a lot of clients that are reluctant to ask for help and should know how to deal with that? It would have to be obvious to all of the doctors etc. that have been dealing with him that he's having trouble with self care, anyone with a nose could tell he is not showering at the very least.
Sorry to vent at you like this, it's just really frustrating!
No need to apologise, I work in the sector and I get it! It's not unusual for people (especially men) to struggle during the time, and their partners are just keeping on keeping on. She's doing a fantastic job honouring his wishes and not rocking the boat. I mean this with the best of intentions; hopefully it won't be long and his suffering will ease. If you need to yell or vent without judgement I'm here.