I have clinical depression, so I'm essentially an amalgamation of 1st and 2nd pick. I know, it's a mess, I'm not okay with it, but when I eventually clean, I still feel like shit because it doesn't solve my problems. The devious thing is that I'm fully aware beforehand that tidying up and cleaning will not make a difference, but while doing it, I have that naive hope that it will.

The amount of times I've heard "just go to therapy" or the even less helpful "just look at the bright side of life" is staggering. People really seem to think I enjoy hating myself and hoping that I don't wake up tomorrow.

Oh, another fun argument is "look at some horrible shit that happened to someone, you have it way better". I'm sorry that seeing others' misery does not make me feel better.

[–] Asafum@feddit.nl 7 points 7 months ago (1 children)

look at some horrible shit that happened to someone, you have it way better

I hate this more than anything... Yes I get that people are literally dying. Now I hate myself on my normal level of hating myself and I hate myself for not being able to be happy when there are people literally dying right now. Thanks.

My cousin was always the "there are children starving in Africa" types. It doesn't ever help. Just don't.

[–] KillingTimeItself@lemmy.dbzer0.com 1 points 7 months ago

my response is always "yes, that's exactly my problem, i could be that person"

[–] Timecircleline@sh.itjust.works 5 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago) (1 children)

That's why I like Unfuck your Habitat. There was a blog, a book and an app.

It talks about how cleaning is morally neutral, and doing something is better than doing nothing. I don't have any affiliation but I find that 20/10s (or even 10/20s where you clean for 10 and break for 20) allow just enough measurable progress for me to feel as though I've accomplished something, to put the "you're useless" thought to bed.

Of course this doesn't help if you're not ready for it, but know that you're not a bad person for having a messy living space. I'm sorry that your disorder makes things hard for you.

[–] KillingTimeItself@lemmy.dbzer0.com 1 points 7 months ago

for me a pretty big thing that helps is keeping a space that's easy to keep clean. Segmenting things, and making storage of them super trivial. The less time i have to spend cleaning something up, the less messy it's going to be in general.