The Monkey's Paw

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Want to make a wish? Just ask the Monkey’s Paw! No strings attached.*

Just create a post that starts with “I wish ___”. Other users will then grant you the wish, and probably not how you intended.

^(*)^ ^Strings^ ^definitely^ ^attached.^ ^Satisfaction^ ^not^ ^guaranteed.^ ^Wish^ ^will^ ^likely^ ^backfire.^

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late_night@sopuli.xyz

ToothpasteSundae@lemmy.dbzer0.com

I wish for free healthcare in my country (sopuli.xyz)

submitted 7 months ago by Fubarberry@sopuli.xyz to c/monkeyspaw@sopuli.xyz

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[–] actionjbone@sh.itjust.works 29 points 7 months ago (4 children)

Granted. You blink, and when you open your eyes you're in Germany. You're a full German citizen. You own a lovely flat in Munich. Your phone is full of contacts - people and family and friends throughout Germany. You have a German driver's license, you have a job at a German company, and your bank account is filled with Euros.

You speak no German.

[–] MonkeMischief@lemmy.today 1 points 4 days ago

You later find out you're Jason Bourne.

[–] Deceptichum@sh.itjust.works 10 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago) (1 children)

You know all those news stories you hear about “Person wakes up and can only speak a language they never knew before”. That’s the cover story for these events.

German man wakes up, can only speak English.

[–] metallic_z3r0@infosec.pub 7 points 7 months ago

Which is largely fine, as most Germans speak English.

[–] livus@kbin.social 3 points 7 months ago

I honestly wouldn't mind this.

[–] ThrowawayPermanente@sh.itjust.works 3 points 7 months ago

I 100% thought that twist was going in a different direction. Other than getting fired in fairly short order, this sounds kind of fun and exciting.