Religious Cringe

As I've already explained, historical scholars who specialize in that time and that area are almost without exception followers of one Abrahamic religion or the other.

This is a true ad hominem fallacy. Not just personal attacks. You are really dismissing the scientific consensus entirely because you doubt the motivations of everyone involved. This is not the basis of a valid argument.

Again, the specific evidence for this specific claim is ridiculously lacking. There's more reliable evidence of the sexual orientation of Alexander the Great than there's even sketchy evidrnve of Jesus existing.

That's because Alexander was a king, and Jesus was not. The problem with this rationale has always been the same: Everyone except a handful of nobles vanishes from history because very little was written about most people. Even then, the documentation about Alexander is surprisingly scant. Almost no primary sources survive to the present day.

Because those specific historians are religious hacks who accept even the most spurious evidence for their preferred result and no arguments against it. Sort of like you.

Again, a true ad hominem fallacy. Also, I am an atheist just like you. I just happen to not be anti-science on this topic.

First of all, no. A lack of dispositive evidence doesn't make up for a lack of positive evidence. That's not how proof works.

Second, there IS an alternative explanation. One agreed upon by everyone who doesn't believe in bronze age fairy tales:

Jesus was a fictional character based on older mythologies such as that of the Egyptian god Horus as well as other stories and the imaginations of the authors.

That is one theory by one mythicist. In fact, it's the pet theory of Gerald Massey, someone who wrote about the subject in the 19th century. It has zero credibility among modern historians, from either the Egypt side or the Judea side. The person simply didn't know enough about either to make any sort of credible argument. This idea only survives in pop culture.

Other than that, it's been a cavalcade of one idea after another. Every mythicist has his own explanation. There has never been consensus on what the alternative explanation could even be.