this post was submitted on 09 Jul 2023
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Autism

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I don't understand why I can't be blunt. (lemmy.world)
submitted 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) by larsthespacepirate@lemmy.world to c/autism@lemmy.world
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lemmy deleted my completely finished post right before posting so let's try this again. I find it so annoying that I have to sugarcoat everything. I feel like I'm coddling people. I understand being polite to strangers, but it's so annoying when my family, who knows I'm autistic, gets upset at my bluntness. I've explained multiple times that I'm not trying to be rude and I'm just trying to communicate in a way that works for me, but it doesn't work. I just don't understand why I have to say "hey, would you mind not letting the dogs tangle? thank you:)" in some high pitched voice when I could just say, "can you not let the dogs tangle?" in a tone that conveys I'm serious. it's so much easier when intentions are simply stated.

edit: I'm having trouble posting comments but thank you for all your responses! it's helping me see things a bit easier, and I definitely have things I can work on now :)

another edit for clarity: my family and I have talked about my communication style. I've tried to find ways to meet them in the middle, as I want a compromise. they've been unsuccessful but I'm continuing to try. I want to be at a point where it's not stressful and exhausting to talk to my family. this was more of just a vent post, as I was feeling really annoyed.

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[โ€“] GunnarRunnar@kbin.social 5 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

And others are free to think you're a dick.

That said, "can you not let the dogs tangle?โ€ isn't rude in the slightest in my book. I don't get the tonality in this either. I tend to be pretty dry with my humor, with my delivery being as dry and tone serious. It's a hit or miss with strangers but those that know me get that they're jokes. I don't really understand why OP's family doesn't just chill, this the way op is. I guess they might be protective or annoyed by it as op knows there is this lovey dovey over the top friendly way to say stuff as well. Might be cultural. But I'd be annoyed by this too.