Autism

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A community for respectful discussion and memes related to autism acceptance. All neurotypes are welcome.

We have created our own instance! Visit Autism Place the following community for more info.

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founded 2 years ago

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BackOnMyBS@lemmy.world

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I don't understand why I can't be blunt. (lemmy.world)

submitted 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) by larsthespacepirate@lemmy.world to c/autism@lemmy.world

65 comments fedilink hide all child comments

lemmy deleted my completely finished post right before posting so let's try this again. I find it so annoying that I have to sugarcoat everything. I feel like I'm coddling people. I understand being polite to strangers, but it's so annoying when my family, who knows I'm autistic, gets upset at my bluntness. I've explained multiple times that I'm not trying to be rude and I'm just trying to communicate in a way that works for me, but it doesn't work. I just don't understand why I have to say "hey, would you mind not letting the dogs tangle? thank you:)" in some high pitched voice when I could just say, "can you not let the dogs tangle?" in a tone that conveys I'm serious. it's so much easier when intentions are simply stated.

edit: I'm having trouble posting comments but thank you for all your responses! it's helping me see things a bit easier, and I definitely have things I can work on now :)

another edit for clarity: my family and I have talked about my communication style. I've tried to find ways to meet them in the middle, as I want a compromise. they've been unsuccessful but I'm continuing to try. I want to be at a point where it's not stressful and exhausting to talk to my family. this was more of just a vent post, as I was feeling really annoyed.

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[–] TeamAssimilation@infosec.pub 22 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Your comment is wrong and obtuse.

It hurts, doesn't it? We might not be responsible for other's feelings, but we are fully responsible for our own communication. By all means be firm and assertive, but don't be gratuitously rude, you'll be needlessly hurting others. They might brush it off, but do it repeatedly and they'll become hostile.

Of course, sometimes hurting others is the only way to go, but it's a last resource.

[–] mvirts@lemmy.world 2 points 1 year ago

I was trying to provide a counter claim to the idea that your are required to not be blunt, but doing it in a blunt way. I feel like it's up to an individual how much they care about others. If being nice is not something you care about, free yourself to not be nice and accept the consequences.

[–] Deceptichum@kbin.social 2 points 1 year ago

Why would that hurt?