Books

The Once and Future King by T.H. White.

Look, I'm a big fan of Arthurian legend. I've read modern retellings by Andrew Lang and James Knowles, and reimaginings like The Mists of Avalon. I've also read Thomas Malory, and even some original Welsh and Middle English legends (in translation of course). But I can't stomach White.

Yes, I know it's the basis for the Disney movie (which is great). Yes, I know White came up with the neat idea of Merlin experiencing time backwards. I know several modern fantasy writers were influenced by it. But it's just so incredibly boring. Every time I've tried to read it (yes, it's been multiple tries) I can't ever get to the part where he pulls the sword from the stone. Why? Because I looked ahead, and it takes twenty-two chapters for the sword to even appear, and another chapter before Arthur finally pulls it out. The only writer I know of that took longer than that to get to that point was Geoffrey of Monmouth, but only because he was supposedly writing the entire history of England.

And it's not just that it takes that long to get to the good part. It's that nothing interesting happens on the way there. None of it is fun to read. It's just a slog. Maybe it gets better later, but I'll never know, because I've just given up.