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I had a smartwatch that had a very annoyingly buzzy vibration, so I empathize with this problem. If nothing else works I do believe that some expensive smartwatches (like apple watch) have a more quiet "tappy" vibration. You could test in store to see how loud the sound is before buying it
My Fitbit Inspire 3 (cheapest fitbit, comes with 6 months Fitbit premium so you can see how your sleep is and address any issues) has alarm vibration options and it is (usually) enough to wake me. Never wakes the wife. If you sleep with her on your arm or something, then this probably won't work. They also have light alarms (goes from dark yellow to bright white over a 30 minute period) and she could wear a sleep mask.
Unmark yourself as a bot blud
Why? I prefer being seen by less people. I assume companies are less likely to archive bot replies. Curious if there are reasons against it.
No if that is your approach carry on .