Lemmy Dadsplain

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Community for exeriences, insights, and camaraderie relating to fatherhood. Or just dad jokes.

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sonofman@lemmy.ca

Got the c section scheduled (lemmy.ml)

submitted 1 year ago by ezmack@lemmy.ml to c/dadsplain@lemmy.ca

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I'm stoked. Need my wife back man I been burning both ends for so long. Trying not to remember all the horrifying medical problems that can happen

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[–] orangeNgreen@lemmy.world 6 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (2 children)

I feel this. My wife was mostly on bed rest toward the end of her second pregnancy. We also have a toddler. I was basically taking care of our toddler, our two dogs, and the upkeep/cleaning of our house all on my own. Plus working a full time, very stressful job that pays most of our bills. The stress was real. And I was exhausted.

Keep your head up. But just know that after a C-section your wife won’t be able to do any heavy lifting, driving, and other things for at least 6 weeks afterward. If you have family or friends that you are able to reach out to, it could be good to do so. I don’t necessarily mean having people hang around your house all day. No one wants that. But maybe people can drop off some hot meals for you? Deliver groceries to you? Simple things that can save you a lot of time.

At the end of the day, and as much as your wife needs the help, remember to take some time for yourself. I found myself getting unreasonably frustrated at times, and I internalized that a lot. We can’t be good fathers and husbands if we are drowning.

Keep reaching out here if you need to vent or need advice!

[–] ezmack@lemmy.ml 5 points 1 year ago

Yeah same boat this is kid number 2 so I've been wrangling the toddler and juggling everything else. For whatever reason this pregnancy was way tougher on her. Instead of bed rest towards the end she's just been dead tired by 6pm the whole time. Feel bad too because I spend all this effort on the house and the other kid but compared to the first pregnancy I've had zero time to be like "do you need water? Foot rub? Run to the store for that weird food?"

I remember with the first one I was like okay were in the hospital were good now. After a week long induction and a c section I quickly realized "oh shit there's a lot of ways she can die right now"

Then the kid was out and I was like great now we're good. Nope is it blind? Is it deaf? Why is this test weird

But I digress, the end is in sight and i know not to panic at those things this time. Fortunately (or unfortunately) I just got laid off and my state does paid leave now. So after today I atleast don't have to worry about work and I'm not trying to cram everything into that couple hours at the end of the night

[–] jubilationtcornpone@sh.itjust.works 2 points 1 year ago

At the end of the day, and as much as your wife needs the help, remember to take some time for yourself. I found myself getting unreasonably frustrated at times, and I internalized that a lot. We can’t be good fathers and husbands if we are drowning.

Thanks for the reminder. Wife's nausea is way worse with this baby than the last (who is now a very busy 1 year old). There are a lot of days where I feel like I'm stretched to the limit and I know I'm grumpy a lot more than I should be. I've got to get better at self care.