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A place to share alternatives to popular online services that can be self-hosted without giving up privacy or locking you into a service you don't control.
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Using a VPN (like Tailscale or Netbird) will make setup very easy, but probably a bit slower, because they probably connect through the VPN service's infrastructure.
My recommended approach would be to use a directly connected VPN, like OpenVPN, that just has two nodes on it -- your VPS, and your home server. This will bypass the potentially slow infrastructure of a commercial VPN service. Then, use iptables rules to have the VPS forward the relevant connections (TCP port 80/443 for the web apps, TCP/UDP port 25565 for Minecraft, etc.) to the home server's OpenVPN IP address.
My second recommended approach would be to use a program like openbsd-inetd on your VPS to forward all relevant connections to your real IP address. Then, open those ports on your home connection, but only for the VPS's IP address. If some random person tries to portscan you, they will see closed ports.
Just chiming in about Tailscale.
The initial connection uses their server just to reach / connect to the other peer. After that, the peers are connected directly and all communication is direct.
That's a good news.
I'm going to try your first approach, which seems to be what I want.
The second one looks tempting, but the first one seems to be more secure, I think.