this post was submitted on 04 Jul 2023
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That sounds really distressing, I'm glad that you got to experience things coming back.
I struggled during COVID because of how my sense of smell changed. I could still smell stuff, but some things were different. My body odour, for example, smelled different. At first I thought that illness was causing funky swear smell, and then I thought it was poor hygiene for an extended period making me smell extra funky (my best friend died, I was a grief blob for a while), but eventually I realised that it was a perception issue, not a sweat issue (onions also smelled bad).
I hated it because for months afterwards, it felt like I was being haunted by COVID. I can also relate to what you describe, a sort of "epistemological anxiety", where being aware that your perceptions are not to be trusted throws you off balance in many ways.
What's your favourite smell?
Sorry to hear about your experience and the loss of your friend. That sounds like a pretty rough time.
It's amazing how much we repend on the sense of smell, but when it isn't working it throws everything off.
My favourite smell was being able to once again smell the perfume my wife always wears, Inish. All the memories of how we first met and made a life together just flooded into my brain immediately.