ADHD

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ADHD parents: how do you help your ADHD kid with homework? (midwest.social)

submitted 8 months ago by ChaosCoati@midwest.social to c/adhd@lemmy.world

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I need all your tips, tricks and ideas - both to help my kid get started on and finish her work, and to help me get through it. Because currently it’s painful for both of us. I feel like I want to crawl out of my skin, sitting with her and trying to make myself stay focused so I can help her stay on task.

What does your evening look like? How often do you take breaks and what do you do during the break? Do you have any fidgets, wiggle chairs, etc., that you keep in the “homework area” for them to use while they’re doing their homework? Anything you’ve learned almost always derails things?

What we’ve tried so far (she’s in 4th grade):

Do one entire item (ex: worksheet, reading passage, spelling list) then take a break and do something fun - this works for some things but others we’re sitting there for 20-30 minutes struggling to finish it
Set a timer and do as much as she can in 10-15 minutes then take a break - this works well at the start each evening but each time it’s more of a struggle for both of us to come back and do more homework. I feel like it may be too many transitions for our tired, end-of-day executive functioning abilities (or lack thereof).
Earn a small piece of candy for each question answered, math problem solved, etc. - This works well for math, but I don’t like to use it before we eat dinner, and usually we do at least some homework before dinner.

I just want to help her find some skills she can use to tackle “have to do” things - because as we all know it’ll be a daily struggle even as adults (at least during the work week).

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[–] UpsKaputt@discuss.tchncs.de 3 points 8 months ago (1 children)

Our daughter is in 4th grade as well, she struggles when she has to do her homework at home. So whenever possible we try to leave her at the school long enough to do her homework there as part of the afternoon care. Depending on your school / country this might not be a thing...

When she does them at home, it's best to start as early as possible. The closer to the end of the day the more exhausted you both are.

Change it up, use different techniques. Don't have anything she can spill on the table. Play music over speakers. Allow her to listen to music over headphones. Make little games of the subtasks. If she has to write or come up with sentences or stories, it sometimes helps when we come up with super silly or even wrong answers. Have fidget toys ready. Have scrap paper ready that she can tear/smear/poke/cut/rip apart so it's not her school book. Have something to drink and eat close by.

Most of the time though it just sucks for all of us. She knows it is so much easier to do them in afternoon care. She gets frustrated with herself. We get frustrated. We say stupid things like "if you just do it you'll be done soon". We're looking to get her into a school that doesn't do homework for secondary school.

I have ADHD and I hated homework. I hate it even more now that I have to force my daughter to do it.

[–] ChaosCoati@midwest.social 2 points 8 months ago

I hate it even more now that I have to force my daughter to do it. Truth.

I like the scrap paper idea. So simple. She gets 20 minutes of free time when we get home and then we get started. All of her work for now is on paper worksheets, and she hates writing. I’m looking forward to when it becomes electronic assignments just so we can use voice to text.