this post was submitted on 30 Jan 2024
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Lemmy Be Wholesome
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Okay but why would we all take the money? Because we want to be rich? Or because we need to be rich in order to live a comfortable life?
Because it makes us feel safe, and it makes us feel like we'll be happy.
I have a Master's in Psychology, and I will always remember the disheartening feeling when I learned the most prevalent and accepted theory of what defines human happiness. Know what it is?
Comparison to others.
Very literally, the person in the tribe with the biggest mud hut is probably happier than you in your Chevrolet when your neighbor pulls up in a Cadillac.
Yes, we really are that small as a rule.
Comparison to others is the killer of all joy.
Is that what makes us the most happy, or is it where we most often seek happiness? I don't think they are the same thing. You aren't going to find the happiest people in the world living in poverty, but I don't think they are billionaires either.
and hence billionaires' obsession in having more money and bigger yachts than other billionaires.
What do you mean by the person in the tribe? Are you talking about a hypothetical tribal society and their happiness when removed from the civilized world as opposed to people in more modern communities?
Yes. A hypothetical tribe. I'm saying happiness is completely relative, but based on comparison to immediate peers.
And what can we do with this information, in psychology? Is there a way to shift focus away from it? Or is there something else to learn?
Usually, in therapy, one is encouraged to mindfully focus on celebrating their own achievements. Without comparison to others, and to develop positive self-talk about one's own value. These are copng strategies that can help someone depressed or hateful about fixating on others and comparing themselves.
But that takes training, receptivity, and dedication to the practice, because our default state and default mechanism for ascertaining satisfaction in life is that comparison we must take active measures to avoid.
Practicing mindfulness is the best first step if you're interested. It is a means to recognize your own negative self-talk. Once recognition is there, it opens more doors. It falls under Cognitive behavioral therapy or CBT, and it is a means to take control of your own thought processes, but requires patience and continued practice.
Thank you. It reminds me of something I used to do but stopped. I want to start over.
Because everyone thinks they need to live lavishly.
Everyone thinks they need a mansion or twelve cars to be happy.
If everyone would be content with simply living a modest life we could exist harmoniously with the environment.
But nope gotta have that big house with all that empty land for aesthetics so fuck everyone else ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
This view only makes sense if the basic necessities for life were actually affordable for most people, which is completely untrue
Which is only true because of the greed that most people feel towards their own.
Essentially shits only expensive because enough people just go "fuck you I've got mine" despite having more than they'll ever need let alone use in their lifetime.
The phrase "enough people" is doing a lot of work in that sentence. "Enough" is a very small percentage of the population, only given outsized power due to our political and economic systems - systems which can be changed to disincentivise that behaviour and dissolve that power.
Not at all. I'll be happy if I have my own house, one car and if I can afford to travel now and then.
Not really. I feel like for instance if you are living in the US, you may easily need to pay the price of twelve cars if you need state of the art medical treatment for something like cancer. Hard to say no to a couple million bucks just even from this perspective.