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It doesn't actually mean fear in those contexts. Etymologically yes, it comes from the Ancient Greek for fear. For all other purposes, that doesn't really matter. If you're anti-gay then you are a homophobe - case closed, just another English term with slightly odd etymology that is irrelevant to how it's actually used by literally everyone. There are thousands of those.
People starting in on "well, achkchually that means FEAR" just want to either nitpick irrelevant trivia, or hide behind a difference that doesn't really exist. It's like pretending the term "hydrophobic" is wrong "because water can't feel emotions": incorrect, irrelevant, just... a weird argument, and if someone brings it up all the time, you sort of have to wonder what their deal is.
The hypothetical "unwilling bigots", the ones genuinely afraid through no fault of their own, causing no harm and carrying no ill will... I'll empathize with them when I get a reason to believe they exist.
Well, aquaphobia is the fear of water. That's a good example because another word actually exists to describe people who are afraid of water rather than just disregarding their fear because the word that might be used for it (hydrophobia) already means something else.