this post was submitted on 12 Jan 2024
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[–] Kolanaki@yiffit.net 75 points 10 months ago (4 children)

Birthdays don't exist. That's a myth made up by Big Cake to get people to buy more cake.

[–] OneOrTheOtherDontAskMe@lemmy.world 15 points 10 months ago (3 children)

..you guys don't use long stick lighters to light birthday candles, so as to not burn yourself when lighting 30 of those sumbitches?

[–] helpImTrappedOnline@lemmy.world 21 points 10 months ago

Nah, I just use my Spaceballs The Flame Thrower, the kids love that one.

[–] MrBusiness@lemmy.zip 1 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago)

Rechargeable electric lighter, baybee!

Edit: Also 2 pack of 0-9 reusable cake toppers

[–] killeronthecorner@lemmy.world 14 points 10 months ago

Really want a big cake now

[–] SuckMyWang@lemmy.world 12 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago) (2 children)

I’m sorry but you’ve been fooled. It’s not big cake, it’s actually big candle. Big cake was just a decoy for big candle so people would focus their attention on an invisible enemy while they destroyed peoples lives from the shadows. Tell everyone.

I didn’t kill myself.

[–] VikingHippie@lemmy.wtf 6 points 10 months ago

Big cake was just a decoy for big candle so people would focus their attention on an invisible enemy

..where are you getting invisible cakes? 🤔

[–] DragonTypeWyvern@literature.cafe 5 points 10 months ago

Of course you didn't!

Falling out of the window was an accident.

[–] lugal@lemmy.world 6 points 10 months ago