Asking someone to marry you on the first is just stupid. Many things could not work out and marriage is a big thing. Imagine spending time and money and then find out that you are not fit together. Then you live a miserable life or fill for a divorce.

[–] henfredemars@infosec.pub 43 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago)

We did--After we agreed to get married, because we were quite sure, but at the same time we didn't want to impose such a stark change right away in case the change would exceed one's ability to cope with change which could lead to panic, meltdowns, etc. Neither of us handle change very well. We didn't actually get married immediately of course. She packed up a pod and moved in next. It was months before.

We also talked about having kids right away. Not having them right away! But we talked about it immediately, I think like five minutes in, because isn't it important to know?

As a counterpoint: nothing in life is without risk. I've seen friends take it slow and end up divorced, too.

[–] idunnololz@lemmy.world 6 points 10 months ago (1 children)

The tax benefits tho :o

[–] henfredemars@infosec.pub 4 points 10 months ago

No kidding. My employer has top quality health insurance too, and in the USA that's a seriously big deal when your prospective partner has a health condition.

[–] MonkderZweite@feddit.ch 1 points 10 months ago

Why marriage? Can't you just start living together first?

Or not marry at all?