this post was submitted on 16 Dec 2023
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Just turned 3 toddler has been saying factually untrue things and trying to get me to agree/repeat these things. They won't let me just ignore their statements and push for an affirmation. Not affirming leads to tears and a tantrum. I've been just saying 'ok' or 'I think you're wrong but ok' but mostly letting things go if they seem trivial like: 'Ice cream is not cold!', 'It's not dark yet!', 'Snow isn't white', etc... I've been mostly targetting statements they make about other people and their feelings or desires like 'You're not tired!', 'She doesn't want to sing.', 'He's not hungry.', etc... and letting the meltdowns happen in those situations but my spouse is concerned that I'm making toddler believe they can have their own facts outside of reality and that I should push back every time something factually inaccurate comes up. I feel like this behavior is probably developmentally normal and like everything else, we need to target specific things to work on one at a time. Thoughts?

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[–] pickleprattle@midwest.social 5 points 10 months ago

Yes, what's important is modeling behavior, not an accurate world view at 3. It's frustrating internally, but I just made sure my child could see that I was unfazed. I also modeled answering questions without being an authority, when appropriate "I think this is how it is" "I'm not sure, let's find out together!"

It's a long process, just keep your eye on emotional regulation and other bigger picture issues and don't let your child drag you into the weeds of who is right and who is wrong, IMO.