this post was submitted on 26 Nov 2023
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A Boring Dystopia

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[–] AngryCommieKender@lemmy.world 2 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago) (1 children)

Ok, I will engage as a Kender.

First of all, me calling myself a Commie is actually superfluous here as evidenced by the Siberian natives that were so damn communist that the USSR couldn't deal with them.

Secondly, the fact that you use the artificial concept of ownership to describe Kender society, shows that you know nothing of Kender. We own nothing, we don't understand ownership at all, unless you big folk explain what you mean.

The biggest crime one can commit as a Kender is not having children. That comes because we are afflicted with wanderlust. I'm a perfect example of this having lived in 49/50 states in the US, and planning to "'retire'" on a ship that I own, but pay for with charter cruises to everywhere else I can get to. I digress.

If you don't return to Kenderhome by your 60th birthday and have at least two children with your council chosen betrothed, or a romantic partner, then we will dispatch bounty hunters to bring you back, alive, and deposit you in the "palace" of Kenderhome. You are then on house arrest, and not able to leave the grounds. This is possibly the worst possible punishment one could give a Kender, other than solitary confinement, thankfully all your locks are trivial for us to pass through, so no one has ever held a Kender in solitary confinement.

The Kender on the whole are an annoyance to those of you primitive races that understand the concept of ownership, but that's not our fault. You should learn the concept of belonging.

Edit, I didn't downvote you.

Edit 2: I'm less than 20 years from having to have podlings, if Krynn has a direct connection to us.

Edit 3: while I have created a Hoopak and a Chappak, IRL, I don't own them. If you need to borrow the Hoopak, or the Chappak,.or pretty much anything else in my possession, I will happily lend it to you, knowing you'll give it back to the community as good, or better, than you got it. It's a real shame I can't rely on normal humans to do the same.

Edit 4: All Weapons should also be tools and musical instruments.

Edit 5: Yes I'm an angry Kender. We only use money because you force us to. We have/had a society that works so damn well the biggest issue we have is forgetting to have kids. I'm extremely disappointed in the lack of progress, despite the insane amount of wealth that human society has produced.

[–] otter@lemmy.dbzer0.com 1 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Ah, the inherent sovereign citizen BS in kender "culture". Color me surprised.

[–] AngryCommieKender@lemmy.world 0 points 9 months ago

Hardly. You're too big to understand us little folk.