this post was submitted on 28 Jun 2023
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I'm struggling to properly convey the feelings of Fremdscham and guilt by association that that kind of person gives me as a man. I feel like I need to apologize for something I wouldn't ever do myself nor let anyone I know get away with doing.
hey, in the eyes of this woman (me) at least, you seem to be doing your best. keep holding the people you know accountable for bad actions. act when you see bad behavior... it might not be safe to confront the offender, if so, support the victim. it's all you can do. in my opinion, you have no need to apologize for others... you can't change or control what another person will do. you can only control what you do.
I hear you on the guilt by association. But you don't ever need to apologise for being born who you are. What you do with your life is what matters the most. As @offendicula said, you can't control other people, you can only control yourself. Being a good role model to and good influence on other men and boys is one of the single best things you can do. :)