this post was submitted on 18 Nov 2023
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[โ€“] Fedizen@lemmy.world 18 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago) (1 children)

there's a number of inauthentic right wingers that happily pose as leftists online to spur these sorts of things, its not something you can stop by lecturing people in online spaces.

This is good in person advice but in most cases this is a mostly online issue where bad actors and children are over represented.

[โ€“] HelixDab2@lemm.ee 3 points 11 months ago

I've absolutely, definitely met people IRL that have argued in exactly the way I outline. ...Although "argue" is charitable, since they're just haranguing their ~~victim~~ subject. I've also known plenty of people that claim that they know they aren't going to change the mind of the person they're verbally assaulting--because people can't change, I guess?--but that they want to win the hearts of the people observing. ...Which they also aren't doing, since they're appearing to be mean-spirited to observers. (And yes, there's nuance here, and I still firmly believe in punching Nazis.)

David McRaney has been talking for a while about what actually works for changing the way people think and believe (and he just recently published, "How Minds Change"), and Anthony Magnabosco has been posting street epistemology videos on YouTube for years. Both of them have found--to be really reductive--that you need to emotionally connect with the person you're talking to, and you need to ask open-ended questions that allow them to consider the foundations for their beliefs.

And to your point, yes, that's hard to do online. I get it. I often fall into the trap of arguing instead of being empathetic. So I need to take my own advice.