(shamelessly stolen from an imgur dump)
this post was submitted on 15 Nov 2023
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Everyone is saying 2 for the economic benefits of gravel, but you gotta approach this like a monkeys paw curse. Where is the gravel coming from? Best case it manifests, but physically that's unlikely. Maybe a box of gravel every week like a weird sweepstakes? Again, if you're lucky.
No, in this scenario you get free gravel... in your shoes... every moment of every day and every time you take your shoes off and remove the trace amounts of gravel, the moment you put them back on its there again. Always just enough to annoy you and never when you want it.
Oddly enough I think reviving the lost language is probably the least likely to curse you. I mean, maybe it means you lose something else in your brain (like all the other useless trivia I know and all the names I forget) but you'd probably be able to get recognition from academic linguists enough that you probably could get enough journal submissions out of it to have a modest career at a second rate university somewhere.
Free gravel for life. It kills you instantly.
Most likely with the language the monkey's paw would be that you can't speak any other language. I imagine you'd also be unable to learn any other language again. At any rate, linguists would still celebrate and you'd just have to make friends with people who want to learn that language for some professional, academic reason
Congratulations, you now speak Khitan and only Khitan. Good luck finding one of the few researchers in the world who will understand that you are speaking an extinct language before being thrown in the looney bin for spouting nonsense Andreas Toma-style