this post was submitted on 28 Oct 2023
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Mildly Infuriating

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I am 23 and I am currently in the dating scene. I've had no success and I've had the fourth person lose all interest in between setting up the date and the long wait between the date. It typically goes match on dating site, set up date, try to get to know each other over snap and then interest lost. I do tend to respond quickly but it's not like I am constantly spamming or shit like that. I am just tired. It's such a dumb minor thing but it seems to be destroying my chances. I am on the autism spectrum and I find texting and shit like that extremely stressful. I know no one is actually going to like past that. Divergence is punished must stick to strict social rules around dating fuck being my actual self I guess.

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[–] SzethFriendOfNimi@lemmy.world 7 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I can’t speak for the other person but it sounds like their advice is to go to places and do things where there are groups that’s related to interests of yours.

This way you encounter people who have similar interests and values as you.

Say, for example, your into disc golf or bowling. Then finding a group that does that in a team setting gives you one on one time with other people who like it. And you’re talking with them about common interests. And, after awhile, you find that it’s easier with one person who, presumably in this hypothetical, is available. So you ask them out on a date or to get coffee. Etc.

The idea isn’t to conform to expectations. It’s to put yourself in situations where natural alignments can happen towards making dates.

Cooking? Then cooking classes. Robotics? Maker spaces.

Reading? Book clubs to discuss novels.

Environmentalism? Volunteer park cleanup.

Just places where you’ll meet people who like the things you like and care about the things you like.

[–] bloopernova@programming.dev 5 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Yeah you got it exactly. I'm not explaining stuff well today. I think I used up all my brain at work.

[–] SzethFriendOfNimi@lemmy.world 5 points 1 year ago

Came across fine to me but text is hard on a good day