this post was submitted on 19 Oct 2023
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[–] nickwitha_k@lemmy.sdf.org 52 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Yeah. Context matters. In Grandma's time, women had much less agency and legal recourse, often needing significant physical abuse for divorce to be legally accepted. It would be sound advice for that context.

In the context of modern times, I was happy when my spouse got her own account because it was a big step forward in independence but if she had opened secret ones, there would be an issue and we'd be going to marriage counseling ASAP because of the breach of trust. Our marriage is a cooperative partnership, not a competition and I'd never stay in a marriage with someone that I could not trust.

[–] Chetzemoka@startrek.website 9 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (4 children)

In the context of modern times, women are six times more likely to be abandoned by their spouse after receiving a devastating medical diagnosis like cancer than men are.

https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2009/11/091110105401.htm#:~:text=A%20woman%20is%20six%20times,longer%20the%20marriage%20the%20more

[–] Draedron@lemmy.dbzer0.com 13 points 1 year ago

Yeah. But what does this have to do with the topic? Women can have their own bank account, just don't hide it.

[–] nickwitha_k@lemmy.sdf.org 10 points 1 year ago

This is true. The fight for equality is NOT over, regardless of how some may like to pretend. Women are still much better off than a century ago in terms of agency over their financial interests (usually - see: Brittany Spears).

[–] cybersandwich@lemmy.world 4 points 1 year ago

I wonder if it's because men are more likely to be the main bread winners and have larger life insurance policies on average?

[–] Nalivai@discuss.tchncs.de 2 points 1 year ago

Also, (and I don't know if they go into it in your research), a lot of the time in US couples have to divorce so the women can qualify for benefits of some sorts, and for the couple it might be the only way to afford a treatment.
That happens because US healthcare is a cruel and inhumane torture.

[–] Turkey_Titty_city@kbin.social 2 points 1 year ago

people who have that attitude tell on themselves. as in, they expect others to act like awful shitty people because deep down they know that is how they would act.