this post was submitted on 16 Oct 2023
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Resources/Books about People Pleasing (discuss.tchncs.de)
submitted 1 year ago by sature@discuss.tchncs.de to c/autism@lemmy.world
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So I have a big problem with trying to guess what other people are thinking, and letting that dominate what I think, instead of actually listening to my own instincts and opinions. It’s been a lifelong problem, but one I’ve really only started directly grappling with in the last year or so. I struggle a lot with figuring out what I want, and what I think for myself. So I often just wind up being heavily influenced by the people near me. I was wondering if anybody else here has gone through this and found something that helped them move past it. Ideally if you have a good book recommendation, that would be great!

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[–] Haui@discuss.tchncs.de 6 points 1 year ago

Hi there! I can relate. Have been in a similar situation and am actively working on getting better. I don’t have a book for you, sorry. I‘d be interested as well. But I can rell you what I do to alleviate this problem:

Working with a therapist to talk about situations where others walk over me or confront me and actively work on strategies of defiance, reflection, discouraging such behavior and so on.

My wife also has the express task to listen and intervene if I‘m reporting being exploited. That is, her telling me to do something, not her intervening on my behalf.

It does help but a good book would interest me as well. Good luck with your journey.