this post was submitted on 12 Oct 2023
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Maybe it’s just this bleary Friday but feeling in a definite work rut of late. So I apologise for probably the deepest/longest post I’ve ever made online.
I’ve been in my (IT/AV/technical) industry 25 years, and at my current job almost 10, but due to some SERIOUS imposter syndrome am still pretty much doing the same work now that I was doing back in the day.
Around 15-20 years ago I was doing much more technically complex work than I am now and climbed to some higher leadership levels, but HATAED managing people so quit that job and dropped right back to the coal face where I’ve been ever since, with pretty much zero progression.
My boss’ boss - we were both at the same level when I first started. My manager, I trained them when they joined as a junior, helped them rise up to a role at my level, and then eventually supported them to go higher and they’re now my boss.
I’ve been approached by other groups over the years to join/help out/move up, but I’ve pushed back every time because I can’t help but think “I can’t do that”, “they THINK I know more than I actually do”, “if they find out I’m actually crap I’ll be unemployed with a family to support”, "I've hit the limit of what I'm capable of".
GAH. I wish I could just appreciate what I’ve got, but I come to work completely on autopilot, can’t remember the last time I actually had to use my brain for anything, and seem to just be the guy everyone turns to for help/advice, train new staff and to help further their own careers. Imposter syndrome blows. Wish I had the kind of personality that could fake it till I make it.
OK vent over, time for more coffee.
There's a thing called The Peter Principle - where you rise in the organisation until you reach your level of incompetence. I have to congratulate you on avoiding this horrible fate. Horrible both for yourself and others. I'm not being ironic here - if more people had a realistic idea of their own competencies then the world would DEFINITELY be a better place.
So props to you for being honest with yourself about what you can AND are willing to do. It's not strictly speaking imposter syndrome I think, unless you really want to play a competitive game of I'm better than you are, nyer nyer nyer. There is much to like about a regular and adequate for purpose pay packet.
Check out Dilbert syndrome online too, where incompetents are promoted to a level where they cannot impede production ....
It’s perfectly fine to not want to ‘move up’ to management. I do what I do because the hands on stuff is interesting. Why would I replace that with management bullshit for a smidge more money and no fun?!?! Yes, we end up with on paper senior people very much our junior. My issues about that are person specific not directly age based.
Oh I agree completely. My 'junior' manager is the best boss I've ever had! Totally cut out for it.
No way I'd ever want to take on a management role again, just wish I had the guts to push through to something at a "technically" higher level.
I don’t know anything about the industry but that actually seems like an important role and good job security. Seconding the point about not getting promoted into a position that’s a poor fit/stresses you out. If you’re financially secure and not hating it a job can just be a job.
But if it’s getting too stagnant you could ask for a side project or (lower pressure) take one up yourself? Do you have enough comfort with your boss that you can bring this up?