this post was submitted on 09 Oct 2023
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Bitter sweet melancholy is the perfect undertone for it - it's weird, huh? I often reminisce and it's a combination of longing, chances gone, friendships lost, friendships forged, love (and hate), and so much more. I wonder why we gravitate towards those types of memories so often. And yeah, I'm like you bud, been thinking a lot like that these days. Hence why I dug up the old nostalgia box.
I was at a mates kids birthday party over the weekend. Saw some old friends in a very different light. Walked away feeling a bit... i dunno, confused? I dont think they even are my mates any more. They were chatting away complaining and I'm sitting there thinking, 1 I cant relate, and 2, tbh I dont care! Like I wish I did, but I dont know you any more. You havnt asked how I'm doing, and now its all just... weird....
these are people I saw almost every weekend in my 20s. and now its.... odd.
I've been in those situations before - people you used to hang with and now you've drifted so far apart that they're... no longer friends but also not strangers? And yea, confused is definitely the vibe. A melancholic confusion - there's something that's lost, through no one's real fault, but it's nevertheless gone. What once was is no more.
the thing that stuck me was I wasn't really sad. What struck me was there was this atmospheric shift and I was the only one who felt it.