this post was submitted on 05 Oct 2023
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Tara Rule says her doctor in upstate New York was “determined to protect a hypothetical fetus" instead of helping her treat debilitating pain.

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[–] lolcatnip@reddthat.com 90 points 1 year ago (12 children)

Based on what I've read in r/childfree, it's far more common than not for doctors to prioritize the needs of a hypothetical husband or fetus over those of a real live woman. I've also known someone in real life who couldn't get a painful medical condition fixed until her mid 30s because the treatment caused sterility. The problem goes way beyond religion; it's more a matter of institutional sexism and the hubris of doctors thinking they know better than any woman who says she doesn't want kids.

[–] BeaPep@sh.itjust.works 45 points 1 year ago (10 children)

I've been to several different OBs trying to solve my almost-two-year-long-period and every single one of them refuses to do anything for me. I'm just "too young" for them to stop me from having kids one day. And giving me a hysterectomy is "too dangerous" and "risky" when my life isn't in danger. It doesn't matter that I've tried everything they suggest. Try it again!! It's so fucking tiring.

I've just given up paying the constant doctor fees to see asshole doctors anymore and just figure I'll either stop having the problem eventually or I'll be "old enough" (40 maybe?) to finally get surgery... It's all a nightmare, especially in the religious south...

[–] medgremlin@lemmy.sdf.org 14 points 1 year ago (2 children)

r/childfree has a list of providers by state that regularly provide hysterectomies. I recommend checking it out, and when you call for an appointment, say that you want a consultation for a hysterectomy and don't say anything else. I saw one of the providers from that list and she agreed that a hysterectomy was appropriate for me (31 years old, no kids) in part because of how horrible my periods are when I'm not on continuous hormonal birth control. The only reason we didn't schedule the surgery right then and there is because the Depo shot is working for the moment and she was concerned about how the recovery from surgery would affect my ability to study for medical school and board exams.

[–] BeaPep@sh.itjust.works 3 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

I actually tried three different providers from the childfree subreddit. One ended up refusing me entirely due to no insurance (I'm in Georgia and Medicaid hasn't been expanded yet. Though there was a mini-expansion this year.) and another actually worked with me over the phone for around 2 months without making me go to an appointment and pay just to see if I had enough... "evidence" or something that they could sign off on a hysterectomy. They ended up telling me I'd need to at least re-try several things first. I couldn't afford the surgery plus 5+ visits several hours away. The third closest option from the childfree list was in another state and couldn't see me unless I had their state insurance coverage.

I'm trying the Depo shot now from the health department but it hasn't helped at all. Thank you though! It's a long road ahead.

Edit: The provider who worked with me over the phone did offer me an ablation but they couldn't guarantee that it would fix the issues and it would cost me my entire hysterectomy savings fund so I just couldn't justify it. I may have the term "ablation" wrong because I remember I spoke in depth about it and one other very similar procedure... Either way they were very nice at least and I can see why they are on the list.

[–] medgremlin@lemmy.sdf.org 2 points 1 year ago

Yeah, healthcare in this country is a hot mess in a lot of ways. Something that could help push it in the direction of getting coverage is if you have any family history of things like uterine fibroids, or gynecological cancers. It's a pretty straightforward thing on the paperwork end of things if cancer prophylaxis is on the list of reasons.

Another thing you could consider in this capitalist hellscape is signing up for a plan off the ACA that has a deductible similar to or less than your savings. That way you would wipe out the deductible immediately, have access to more providers, and have some semblance of coverage for the rest of the year.

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