this post was submitted on 27 Sep 2023
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One time I went to a bar with one of these machines and I paid for like 3 songs. Well someone behind me paid extra to prioritize their songs so for 2 hours I heard nothing but Metallica and didn't hear a single one of my songs.
So right before I left I also paid extra to have this song played immediately, six times in a row.
https://youtu.be/_qMfQlVDGu0?si=gz8iyzfVG4E3eic1
Who the fuck designed that jukebox, Satan himself?! Both the prioritization function and having that Björk cacophony installed are downright evil.
Satan is corporate. Nothing better than getting people to fuck each other over for your profits.
The prioritization feature is great because, at least on TouchTunes, not even the owner can skip a prioritized song. Unplug the machine and it'll just resume the song when you start it back up.
Nothing took the wind out of obnoxious drunken revellers quite like what I called The Hard Reset: Miserere mei, Deus followed by Feels So Good followed by the 3 or 4 longest Allman Brothers Band songs available. It worked best when they had Mountain Jam.
I'm so confused why jukeboxes would even offer songs like those.
(Part of it might be that I'm not the kind of person who goes to the kinds of places that have jukeboxes in the first place. When I think of one, I'm still thinking of the kind of machine that has a bunch of CDs in it and an interface simple enough to be either one button per song, or reading a numbered paper list and typing in the number, so maybe 100 or so choices max.)
They're fully digital now and stream their songs from an internet connection, with a small amount of local storage as well.
Yeah, I figured. But even then, letting people pick >10 minute songs seems like a bad idea -- if not for the sanity of the other patrons, then at least for the profitability of the machine (e.g. preferring to charge for three 3-minute "radio edit" songs instead of one long one).
But I paid a whole quarter, I should be able to listen to the FULL version of Alice's Restaurant
Only if it's Thanksgiving, you Group W degenerate!
The touch tunes we have always allows you to skip songs.
Then this might be an older version, or else my establishment had fucked theirs up
omg lmaoooo! I saved a note with the name of that song in case I'm ever in that situation.
Calm down Satan.
Man that was awful. I thought I'd force myself to listen to the whole thing but I bailed before a minute passed. That'll empty a bar.
Holy mother of all things evil that was bad 😂