this post was submitted on 11 Sep 2023
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I came across this recently and thought it was a super interesting and thorough examination of "the closet" or "coming out" of it.

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[–] araly@beehaw.org 24 points 1 year ago (7 children)

i've never liked the idea of having to come out of the closet. I want to be able to say "oh, my boyfriend cooked my lunch, I don't know what spices he used, i can ask him", without it turning into "oh i didn't know you were gay, thanks for letting me know, so brave" or something weird. we were talking about lunch, not who i like to sleep with

[–] Sombyr@lemmy.one 5 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I'm not sure if gay men have to deal with that more, or if it's me specifically who's weird for never having anybody do that to me when I mention my wife.

The one time anything like that did come up, I was the one who brought it up and the dude was just like "Yeah, I knew you were into women before you even said anything. You've just got that vibe."

Point is somebody took the door off my closet.

[–] Sekoia@lemmy.blahaj.zone 4 points 1 year ago (2 children)

I've been told several times "ah yeah I had kinda guessed" as a bi dude. Literally no idea how you could tell, considering I look the same as before I figured myself out.

[–] Honytawk@lemmy.zip 5 points 1 year ago

Our environment has those things figured out more quickly than we ourselves.

They look from the outside in and a closet is easy to spot. But inside the closet it is dark.

[–] OrnateLuna@lemmy.blahaj.zone 2 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Tbf you were bi even before you figured it out

[–] Sekoia@lemmy.blahaj.zone 3 points 1 year ago

I mean yeah but. I am the most standard skinny white dude.

That said I have literally 0 gaydar so.

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