Several users have brought to the moderation team’s attention that there is increasing toxicity within our community. During discussion, the mod team has agreed that there is a noticeable increase in toxicity Lemmy-wide, so it might not be limited to our community only.
We would like to maintain the !autism@lemmy.world community as respectful, inclusive of controversial perspectives, and encouraging of discussions. Furthermore, we aim to avoid silencing (deleting posts/comments) users unless they flagrantly violate our rules, while reserving user bans for repeat offenders (we all have bad days) and flagrant abuse.
Importantly, as autistic people and allies (NTs and other NDs alike), we go through enough difficulties as it is. We don’t need to be going through it here either. Let’s keep this our healthy space.
The Mod Team’s Perspective
We don't want to silence users outside of clearly violating the rules, and we would prefer to avoid banning users for one or two minor offenses because we all have bad days, but we also don't want to put up with toxicity either. Rather, we want a community that's respectful, understanding, inclusive, and open. Lastly, as mods, we don’t see ourselves as controllers of the truth or authoritarians, whether benevolent or not, nor do we have the power to control topics of discussions or what is right within the autistic community as a whole. We are merely users trusted by the community with the power to remove posts, comments, and users per the established rules which are always up for discussion, and we use that power to build the community for all of us in !autism@lemmy.world. We are in your service.
Some Suggestions
We argue that the best way to have civil discussions is to focus on the topic and use respectful language, especially when other users may have significant attachment to a topic. Additionally, it substantially helps if you can provide a source with valid evidence to support your argument. However, attacking a user rarely if ever helps get your point across.
We also understand that each of us can only control our own behaviors, and that it is likely you will be personally attacked on Lemmy. It’s part of being on social media. A wise woman once told me that the best way to win a game with a toxic person is to not play at all. If some bully throws the toxicity ball at you, put the ball down and walk away. If you would like to respond to demonstrate dignity, you can respectfully say that you are choosing to not participate. On the other hand, if you are being harassed or see any violation of our rules, then let the mods know through a report, and the mods will deal with it for you so you can continue enjoying the community knowing it has your back.
This brings up the next suggestion. The use of the up and down vote buttons would work best if they were used to vote on contribution to the thread, not whether you agree with a post/comment or not. If I argue for the use of [whatever] because I think it’s the best, but someone comes up with a good point that I don’t agree with, I can still up-vote it because I think it’s a good contribution to the topic and want to increase its visibility. In this case, my vote isn’t a sponsorship or surrender. It’s an appreciation for the discussion. At the same time, if someone starts with some toxic garbage, just downvote it and move on. Do not engage. At best, the user will drop it and maybe learn from it or leave. At worst, they get more toxic and eventually violate a rule, which will be reported to and addressed by the mods.
How Can You Help?
This post is the quick initial attempt at remedying the issue that has recently been brought to light. While we continue to brainstorm ideas, we would love to hear from you. What can the mods and community do to help maintain the healthy space we have all built?
PS - There are some topics sensitive to our community that the mod team has been asked to have a stance on. We are not ignoring them. While we haven't discussed the topics yet, we will be in discussion over them to best decide how to address them. Once ready, we will make a post on them. In the meantime, we would like our community to address its daily functioning.
That's an important point right here - one that is commonly overlooked. We all have shitty days every now and then, sometimes the tone of a comment / post is completely accidentally way harsher than you intended it to be, sometimes you can lose yourself in the heat of an argument if its about a topic that happens to be a sore spot for one of the participants. It happens. And if a mod then comes swooping in to immediatly kick you out of the conversation and tell you off for having a bad day, it won't get better.
I sure had days like these where I let frustration get the better of me, but once I cool down a bit and realize that I've been too harsh, I always come back to apologize and explain to the other person that it wasn't their fault. And I've been on the "other side" of such conversations as well, and every time it happens I truly appreciate the other person reaching out to me. Now, if mods act "too quickly" and/or too harsh, that scenario is oftentimes no longer possible. If one of the people involved in the argument is kicked out of the community, silenced, banned or whatever, there is no apology, and people might hold grudges.
Of course there are times where you absolutely need to act quickly and harshly (violent threats, racist slurs etc.) but it is also important for a mod to know when NOT to act immediatly, or when to intervene in a "soft" way (like asking people why they're being cranky today - sometimes that's all it needs to snap out of a funk you didn't know you were in).
... and I get that this isn't always easy for a mod. You may stumble upon a discussion that's slowly deteriorating and think "oh dang, I'm responsible for making this right - I have to DO something!" and then do something that might not have been necessary. Sometimes, it is completely okay and even preferable if the mods just keep an eye on a discussion without immediatly intervening.