976
Report: You Could Quit Job Right Now And Just Play PS5 Until You Run Out Of Money
(www.theonion.com)
this post was submitted on 05 Sep 2023
976 points (98.0% liked)
The Onion
4542 readers
1133 users here now
The Onion
A place to share and discuss stories from The Onion, Clickhole, and other satire.
Great Satire Writing:
founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
view the rest of the comments
Because depressants will make you suck at video games. You gotta get into stimulants to combo with gaming. On the plus side, if you get into meth or crack, you'll have the energy to hold down a part time job and full time gaming addiction for a few months before you start to come apart! Then you'll have a few more months of just cracked out gaming after you get fired before you're evicted. If you're lucky and steal some wifi, you could eek out a whole year of 40+ hour gaming weeks of erratic, aggressive high level play. You'll set random records. You'll birth new slurs to yell at children. You're not gonna accomplish any of that on heroin. You're really gonna let people down on heroin.
I used to have a few meth heads come hang out at my house when I was 20, the quietest they were, was when I would ask them to finish a game for me so i could just fuck around in the world, didn't matter what game, they'd finish it in no time.