Today I Learned
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Perhaps the brain - in a last attempt to save its life - searches every situation that it has ever experienced to try to find survival tips.
Maybe it's making a final upload to the cloud.
Maybe they're highlights on the game over screen.
It's the credits screen.
YOUR LIFE
Written and directed by George Lucas
Etc etc you get it
Dwayne Dibley?!
Jesus, I think of that episode way too much. Mine would be some corporate suit who doesn't know how to do anything except look good for meetings, dumb as dogshit, a total yes-man, got his job because of his dad, hates children, and was prissy.
Patrick Bateman sans violence.
I was caught in a rip current, in close to zero Celsius salt water, with significant waves as a teenager. My wetsuit was inadequate, to say the least, and my surfboard was lost because the leash failed (think of it as a flotation device).
I was sure I was going to die. I didn't. But, yeah, every single second of my life was screaming through my brain while I pleaded with any force in the universe to save me.
I eventually got control of my breathing and swam across the rip and let the waves take me in. I was cold for a long time.
That was my first time surfing. Wasn't my last but I learned a lot that day.
The that took me there and loaned me the gear didn't even go in the water (said he was right behind me).
Where it will promptly remember I did fuck all and survived
Or, your favorite jerk off material. It's fifty fifty.