politics

“Everyone disrespects what the Schlapps did to them," one source said of the CPAC chairman and his wife. "They left because they couldn’t get money.”

After a group of employees resigned en masse from the American Conservative Union—which organizes the Conservative Political Action Conference (CPAC)—in spring 2022, its chairman Matt Schlapp, and his wife, Mercedes, reportedly felt there was only one thing that could cure the space of the bad resignation vibes: An unsanctioned exorcism.

The pair brought in a priest to “evict satanic spirits” from the group’s Virginia offices, according to a new report from the Daily Beast. And why did so many junior employees suddenly quit?

“Everyone disrespects what the Schlapps did to them. They left because they couldn’t get money,” a source said. “Matt has said, ‘Everyone is disposable,’ and says that they can always find someone else to do the job for that much.” Color me shocked.

An anonymous source told the Daily Beast that the exorcism was “the weirdest thing I’d seen,” while another could barely process what was taking place: “I had no idea what was going on.”

Men (and their wives?) will literally do anything, including demanding a ritualistic cleansing ceremony, before they pay their employees more.

ACU/CPAC did not reply to comment requests, while Schlapp provided this statement to the outlet: “CPAC is being terrorized by a demon self-described as The Daily Beast. The good news is the leadership of CPAC knows how the epic battle against the Beast ends. I’d short the stock.” Cool!

Let’s also not forget that Schlapp was sued by a Republican operative who accused him of sexual assault back in January. The Daily Beast reported earlier this week that Schlapp unsuccessfully tried to settle the suit despite vehemently denying the accusations. “We take seriously our professional conduct and would never discuss the details of confidential conversations between lawyers. But since it appears Mr. Huffman or his attorney have done so, let me set the record straight: There was no settlement offer,” publicist Mark Corallo told the outlet. “From the outset Mr. and Mrs. Schlapp have been and remain prepared to go to trial and are confident of prevailing in court.”

But back to the exorcism. Per the Daily Beast:

Multiple sources with knowledge of the event said the rite included a prayer circle in Schlapp’s office, which one person described as performative and inauthentic. “Like a show,” this source said.

“As the priest made his way through the office, spritzing holy water room to room, employees nudged him towards Matt’s office,” this person said. “The way he had treated junior employees, it seemed to us like he was the one who needed it the most.”

ACU General Counsel David Safavian celebrated the office exorcism (unclear if it’s the same office-wide exorcism or if they’re just keeping DMV priests busy) with a cigar.

The Daily Beast reported that medals of St. Benedict, the patron saint of exorcisms, are still above some doors. So while all those evil spirits that force employers to pay their employees money can’t make it through the doors, maybe they can still fly in through the windows.