it's hard, i lie in bed every evening unable to sleep thinking about how everything's rigged against me. seeing no reason to live is perfectly rational.

but i don't want to end up in a statistic no one's going to do anything about. that's not what i do. i have a few things that distract me from the thoughts, but it's a constant flow of reasons why i don't want to live here anymore.

Depression is one hell of a mental illness. unfortunately, the cure is normal living conditions. and that's not happening anytime soon.

hang in there, and maybe you can look back on your life and say "i'm glad i stayed".

[–] PeWu@lemmy.ml 4 points 1 year ago (2 children)

That'd be awesome. I wish I had willpower to actually change some things in my life

[–] KpntAutismus@lemmy.world 2 points 1 year ago

you're pretty much the only one who can do anything about it. don't seek immediate success, make little steps. next time you get a productivity boost, go for a walk. clean up your room a little.

and most importantly, prove life wrong. giving up is not why you exist.

it's going to be worth it. i believe in you.

[–] sukhmel@programming.dev 1 points 1 year ago (1 children)

If you can afford it, may be worth trying to get a check for mental health, because lack of willpower may as well be because of depression or other issues. For me getting treatment had changed a lot (even though rn it is kinda bad again but not that bad)

[–] PeWu@lemmy.ml 2 points 1 year ago

Thanks for replying. I don't think I'll get checked up not only due to financial struggles right now, but also not having strength to do anything. I'm just going on with life, day by day, month by month, year by year. If I'm correct with my terminology, I'm burnt out.

[–] Malfeasant@lemm.ee 1 points 1 year ago

I feel this. Fuck it's dark.